The worst part is over... now it's time to let what has bottled up for 5 and half years be exposed and let judgement finally happen, I have had my day in court and my voice has been heard, and it's not the summer heat outside that has set you aflame... it's time to burn and I've never had any question doing so.. I stand exposed.. But it's only day one, it's clear that this battle has only just begun but for the first time in a very long time i do and can feel an ending approaching.. i know how to talk and get my voice heard, and i am hoping in small way that for once it wasn't just my powerful voice that was on display today, because there is another voice that needs to be heard... and it's not my voice that needs to heard.. it never has been, but i think today in some small way, his true voice was heard Louder than Bombs. i am more than ever prepared for whatever comes next and I hold no illusions and No fear of anything... standing up there and looking you in the face and Telling the truth and looking you in the eye, that was the best feeling in the world, not on a telephone, not in a email, but in person, in a moment of truth, that's when and what mattered, exactly what was said to you, sworn on a bible.. I started and ended with it for a reason... and this will never be about the two of us.. but about that little man and that little mans voice. I'd never back down or give up the fight, but all of the actions today have more than proven that i will do what i need for my little man, no matter the decisions, no matter the question, I stared right thru the abyss and she stared back into me.. and the people that we once were no longer exist, I know your soul is blacker than mine.. if it even exists anymore at all.. but it's not about saving your soul or even fucking saving mine.. It has to be about more than that, It always has been about more than that. The End It begins agian, and this time there will be an absolution, no more excuses. I stood on my own two feet with the speaking voice that I only pretend to keep hidden because i know how intimidating i can be... i can be fucking eloquent when i need to be, a great speech is just written words spoken aloud and some of the best leaders and generals in this world have ad libbed some of their best words... but one stands out and has for a very long time...
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt
but the truth is, I have faced my every fear and I have nothing left to fear, but you have plenty. day one is over, the first chess peice of the final game has been cast, let's see how you respond.. but it's always nice to know that you have an advantage in the end game... and my advantage is I am no longer afraid.. or will ever have any reason to be, it's not about me.. it's never been about me.. and i'm a better person for that.
Current Mood: Determined, a great weight off my shoulders.
Current Music: ARCH ENEMY - You Will Know My Name
We are born. We die. Somewhere in between we live. And how we live is up to us. That’s it.
Many people don't fear a hell after this life and that's because hell is on this earth, in this life. In this life there are many forms of hell that people walk through, sometimes for a day, sometimes for years, sometimes it doesn't end. The kind of hell that doesn't burn your skin; but burns your soul. The kind of hell that people can't see; but the flames lap at your spirit. Heaven is a place on earth, too! It's where you feel freedom, where you're not afraid. No more chains. And you hear your soul laughing.
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