Phase 3.1: Path to War.

There is no time to plan, there is no space to think. No respite. No forgiveness. There is only war.

It's time to fight for more than just myself personally, that particular option seems darker and darker the more I stare into the abyss but I do question if this will truly be the end or if it's just another moment in which everything I know will end up stalled once agian, it fucking sucks being in a prison without walls, I need to gear up and fight this on all fronts, but I am so damn tired of every situation leading me back down into the abyss, a lesser man would have snapped and become something else... I don't have the time or patience for anything more in my life, this battle is everything, this war fuels everything. It's time to never back down... Even if I fail, I've failed doing the wrong thing. I'm just sick of fighting everything and everyone, but that's who I am, I am war. I don't have time anymore for petty distractions and dealing with questionable people, I'd rather be on my own fighting a losing battle, than having allies I don't trust. at least on my own there isn't any further collateral damage other than what has already been caused at the end, if I'm fighting alone in this trench, I have the safety to say that I can unleash hell and no one else will be hurt due to my actions, May that's the way it has to be, that's the way it's always been before, at the end if the day I'm always the one standing here, alone. So be it. I don't have anything inside of me anymore except for anger, it is what drives me and keeps me whole, everything else is a fuckin distraction. It's time to let myself be brought down to the bone, there's nothing else left, I am a creature of war, born of battle, and the war is about to begin... One final time. Time to end it, no matter the cost.

Current Mood: Bitter.
Current Music: Slayer, Bloodline

But strength doesn’t always mean brute force. You don’t have to kick ass to be a fighter. Violence doesn’t equal strength. Lead your army by example. There’s a better answer to all this. War isn’t going to solve anything, but it will tear our two worlds apart, and there will be casualties, including humans. There’s nothing heroic about this war. It will lead to a destruction unlike anything you or I have ever seen.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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