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Dangerous Games


Do not concern yourself with what I have done; rather tremble at the thought of what I am about to do.


I hate having emotions. I wish I could just bottle it up and let it all fade away. I've moved on before and burn bridges. Why can't I now. I have a future that's what I should be Looking towards... Not some history in another place and time.. I know what keeps my rooted in the past, it shouldn't define my daily life right now...

I walk away... I don't care.. I am the gasoline that burns the bridge. Why the hell am I conflicted about doing so, I shouldn't be. I should be angry and full of hate.. that's what I am fucking good at. No one wants me to succeed anyways... Long as things are status quo it's good... I don't do status fucking quo... I never have.

I don't know how I feel. I have fought for a decade and I have a million emotional responses right now to everything in my life, and then we are in a goodamn worldwide pandemic and I'm isolated and truly seeing people for what they are in my life... I'm not liking what I'm seeing. I remember exactly what holiday this and the date that is quickly approaching... I remember. I don't hold back, I will not fade away not this time.

I'm sick of being the better person and the bigger person.. I'm an asshole and the person you've turned into a fucking demon. So if I'm gonna be the fucking villian.. I'm cool with that.. but I quit this on my terms.... I know exactly what it's going to cost me... The same wound down my side, right into my soul you constantly inflict... But this time I'm choosing it because I have other things in my life I'm not willing to lose that are more important.

You're manipulation no longer works. It's all a mind game. That being said.. just fucking remember who taught you how to play chess. I will always be one move ahead.. except when I quit playing that game.  And I am done playing this game.

I'm not responsible for the shit in our lives you blame me for.... But I'm used to you playing the victim and me the villian. I'm done caring. I'm done with. I've moved on and I'm fucking happy leave me alone.


I did love being a hero, but if this is where it leads, I'm done with it.

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