Skip to main content

The Black Plague


I don't know who I am. I don't know what I'm... becoming. But I know one thing for sure: you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

I spent four months locked in a cage last year. That's exactly what this fucking social isolation feels like. Prison. I do not like being in a box. It's even worse when the whole world is fucking shut down as a result of this. This is something that hasn't been seen in living memory but has been seen before in recorded history. This shit will change the world. I just hope it doesn't fucking change me too much. I can't see those I love... I can't see anyone.

....and then the other shoe drops and I am being tortured by an emotional child who has full control and power over my child. I don't want this... Any of this. I have someone else... I'm fucking happy. I'm me agian... I'm sick of the daggers in my back. You betrayed me... Over and over and over agian... You betrayed me.... No More. I'm done being hurt.. I'm done being angry... I'm just done. I don't look back... You live there I don't.  I'll move on.. I'm good at it. I won't give a single backwards glance. I quit.

You fucking destroyed me over and over agian... It's you're sick fantasies inflicting pain. It's a sort of revenge to you isn't it? I'm done one day he will know exactly what you have done and what you are. I am done with you. I'm fucking happy. Leave me the fuck alone.

No one gets to make me feel angry and fucking suicidal, least of all you.. I've moved on.. you haven't. That very clear. But there is no guilt and no atoning for imaginary sins...im fucking done. You don't exsist.

When I said I was done fighting and courts and all of that... It fucking included you.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world.  I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works.  You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun. 
Post a Comment
Read more