Not all people are obsessed with love in their life, some are just are obsessed to need a villain because they want to be a Hero.
I am done with people and mind games. My world is much more peaceful with those and only those I want in my fucking life. I am no longer tolerating bullshit anud games in my life. I am too old and have lived too long to play childish fucking games with people who remain broken in my fucking backstory. I'm not going to have my mind fucked with when I have other priorities in my life. I am not looking back.
The time for that has passed. I have To do what is right for me in my mind and what is going to keep my mental health sane. I'm done fighting and I am happy, I will fight for what I have now, instead of memories and a fucking nostalgia tour of what ifs and what could have been. I was left out in the trash and discarded like a fucking toy, and every time I scraped myself back up you tried to destroy me and what I held dearest to me, you succeeded. It's been almost a decade since you took the little that was good and pure about me and turned it agianst me, that's not a forgivable fucking sin, not will it ever be. You can go to hell, I have a pretty good life, it's not what I wanted and some goals have fallen short but it's what I fucking have.. and I am rising from the fucking ashes..
When I think of you all I see is black.. all I feel is pain. I can't see anything else this past decade but a fucking war and the bodies that fill it. Freinds, loved ones, daily, relationships, and the things that have all fallen by the wayside.. and I see the things that you thought you could take away now, those are things that are more important to me now. I'll fight for them the way I once might have fought for you, I'll fight for the things I have and the people I love, because all I have ever done is fight against you. I don't need or want you in my life. I have fucking moved on. You are dead weight. You are a fucking anchor. Burn.
I will move on, and I will never fucking look back except to mourn that which you fucking took from me, you got you're goddamn ounce of flesh, you don't get to take any fucking more. I am fucking done. Everytime I wake up knowing I am no longer a father as a result of you're actions and everything you took after that... You were petty and had an agenda.. and now because you have regrets, you have a new agenda... I fought you long and hard and never gave up until I had to. We both lost everything due to you're choices but those are you are you're choices, we aren't going back. We were never going back. I have no regrets and I can still hold my head high... I don't have a miserable life, I still have my Freinds and family and I don't look back and see a wasted life... The only thing wasted is the time you stole from me and my son. Maybe one day I'll get that back. But for now I'm moved forward. With what I have.
I've made my choices, I'm fine with where I fucking stand. I'll be happier in the long run, the battle was what sustained me for a very long time, but not anymore, you're beneath me, I refuse for you to drag me back down to you're fucking level. I won't... I'm just gonna be happy with what I have now...
I made my choices so my son wouldn't have to spend one moment in the hell that I was raised in... There are no regrets there. I'll never forget or forgive that you weaponized the fucking system agianst me, you handed me a death sentence that somehow I survived... I don't need or want you, I have moved on. You are a part of a dead and broken past that I no longer acknowledge. Just because I dont hate you anymore doesn't mean I like you any better, or that I have forgotten we spent a decade in court at war. I know what you took away.
Accept the fact I will be angry and bitter towards you for the rest of our lives... I have. It's why I'm better than you. It's why I never hopped aboard you're little nostalgia tour. I only had one agenda. Same as it ever was. I'm done playing you're games and letting you inside my head.
I have gotten darker and angrier and more bitter after all these years... And when I fr inally made peace tewitall of it... You come back with false fucking promises and mind games? Do I really look that fucking stupid? I'm dangerous and determined. Two things you really shouldn't fuck with. I won't back down from you, but I won't bother with you either. I'm done with you ruining my life and the ones around me... You made your fucking decisions, live with them. I've had to. I'm better for it.
...but you won't take what I have now. I fucking promise you that.
My war is over. You don't get to occupy time in my head anymore. That might be a small victory to me, but it is a victory.
Love is willing to become the villain so that the one who He loves can stay a hero.
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