Skip to main content

Isolated...



I destroy things. It's in my nature. I'm not begging anyone to be part of my life or stay in it. It's not worth the battles and the fight I have to put up with to care anymore. The world is going to hell... And I dont think that's going to change any fucking time soon so I'm revaluating every relationship and freindship. You gotta look out for yourself and those that you are closest to.

I'm going stir crazy with this self isolated shit and I'm playing games with my head. For fucks sakes just over a year ago I was still locked in a cage. That's still playing with my mind and I'm always looking over my shoulder expecting  it to happen agian. I'm not begging anyone to stay a part of my life if they don't want to be there. I'm so far beyond that it's not even a reality for me to care. If I want and need you in my life that should be enough... But I'm done fighting for people to stay there.

I hate the world. I can deal with isolation... But I'm getting real fucking sick of people that supposedly care about me being really shitty to me and to others I care about...... I will be moving on.. there is no doubt about that. My independence is something I need now. I can't continue to live in this confusing place where I don't know exactly where I stand. But I do for my own agenda... Not any other reasons.

The world is going to hell. I am not arguing with the ones I love..I'll just walk away instead. I'm fucking good at it. Im done fighting and I'm done with anyone who doesn't want me in their lives. You wanna leave... Go... I won't fight to keep you in my life... Not anymore, that time has passed.

I'm done pretending I care about anyone in this world that doesn't have my interests at heart. I'm too old and too cold to let this world spin around with me all alone. Love me, or leave me... That's the fucking choice you get. The only choice.

I'm done earning Anything from anyone.. I might be the unforgiven, but I'm not the undeserved. My best talent is walking away and never Batting an eyelash or looking back. No regrets. No matter what the fuck it costs me.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th