I destroy things. It's in my nature. I'm not begging anyone to be part of my life or stay in it. It's not worth the battles and the fight I have to put up with to care anymore. The world is going to hell... And I dont think that's going to change any fucking time soon so I'm revaluating every relationship and freindship. You gotta look out for yourself and those that you are closest to.
I'm going stir crazy with this self isolated shit and I'm playing games with my head. For fucks sakes just over a year ago I was still locked in a cage. That's still playing with my mind and I'm always looking over my shoulder expecting it to happen agian. I'm not begging anyone to stay a part of my life if they don't want to be there. I'm so far beyond that it's not even a reality for me to care. If I want and need you in my life that should be enough... But I'm done fighting for people to stay there.
I hate the world. I can deal with isolation... But I'm getting real fucking sick of people that supposedly care about me being really shitty to me and to others I care about...... I will be moving on.. there is no doubt about that. My independence is something I need now. I can't continue to live in this confusing place where I don't know exactly where I stand. But I do for my own agenda... Not any other reasons.
The world is going to hell. I am not arguing with the ones I love..I'll just walk away instead. I'm fucking good at it. Im done fighting and I'm done with anyone who doesn't want me in their lives. You wanna leave... Go... I won't fight to keep you in my life... Not anymore, that time has passed.
I'm done pretending I care about anyone in this world that doesn't have my interests at heart. I'm too old and too cold to let this world spin around with me all alone. Love me, or leave me... That's the fucking choice you get. The only choice.
I'm done earning Anything from anyone.. I might be the unforgiven, but I'm not the undeserved. My best talent is walking away and never Batting an eyelash or looking back. No regrets. No matter what the fuck it costs me.
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