It is such a quiet thing, to fall. But far more terrible is to admit it.
I don't back down. You've already taken you're pound of flesh. Now it's just another twist of the fucking knife. Its pathetic that I had to lose everything to find myself and to find the backbone to finally stand up to you. You destroyed my life... You have no fucking control. I will never ever lose myself agian to be anything towards you. All these fucking eyes see for you is despair, contempt and anger and hate. You won't cost me the things I have. Not now, not ever agian. That's no longer how it works.
A part of me is fucking vindicated by the fact that you are intimidated by my confidence when I'm dealing with you. If it scares you.. so be it bitch. I'm the big bad scary monster.. time to show some fucking teeth and have you stare into the deadlights and show my true form.
The world is going to hell and all you fucking want to do is fight me and make me feel fucking horrible. I'm done. Not taking you're shit. You're fucking blocked. If you were a fucking man, you would have never been able to say half of what you have said or done to me. I'm done. I wash my hands. Not fighting you... But I know the war will never ever be fucking over in you're mind. It's all you have left. Confrontation.
I have nothing more to fear from you... That time is over, it's not me youre machinations are damaging. Not anymore. There is nothing you can do to me that I haven't suffered already. I'll always be here standing tall, with only his best interests at the fucking bottom of my black heart.
You have nothing to offer me except a reminder of how much I fucking hate you, I thought I had moved past that.. I know that I have a better life than would have ever been possible with you.. so I'll take my fucking chances. there is no more chess game... I smashed the board... I quit playing matching you move for move... I'm sick of the twist of the screw... I won't let you keep crucifying me because you're life wasn't what it was what you wanted.. those tragedies and life in constant crisis are on you're own head.. I wash my fucking hands clean... The only thing that saddens me is the fact that he is affected....and that you're curse has affected him so deeply as well... I fought with you for years.. I fought an epic of battle... Our own private war... One that I ultimately lost... But you didn't fucking win either... Because at the end we both lost our souls... He is the best of both of us and we have damaged him completely. Hopefully not behind repair. A lot of that is on you.
But I've been saying for years at the end... He may still hate me, I've made peace with that... But I won't be the only one he hates... That much is evident.
I wanted so much better for our son. You ruined that. That's always going to be on you. Not me.
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