All I know how to do with you is fight. Yet you think after 20+ years I won't fucking fight for you. I try to have patience so we don't rush into the wrong fucking decision but I am fighting for you. I expect you to betray me so I don't fight you very fucking hard. But I do fight.
You have drained the willingness to do anything from my soul and you expect me to be the boy I once was, instead of the bitter broken shell of a man that I am now. There is no middle ground. All that's left is what you couldn't destroy or take away from me. Love that. Not you're ideal of that man I used to be. He's dead. He's gone.
All that's left is the warrior who never gave up. Everything else was stripped the fuck away in a moment where you decided I was disposable. The feeling I get constantly when you decide you don't need me. I know you'll be back so I patiently wait, but I'm just a fucking sucker for that.
I think I liked it better when I was at war with you.
I don't know where I stand with you and as usual I'm just fucking fine with that. But it gets harder and harder every time you play this game. It would be easier if I didn't love you but I do. That's what complicates things. Its so much easier when we hate each other.
I was happy in thorold, but I got sick of waiting for you to be a part of my life. Kinda like exactly where we are now. Its you're decision, you've made that abundantly clear but I shouldn't have to go to the extremes I do just to get you to consider it. If you love me, love me... Enough of the bullshit
.
I'm done fighting you, but I will never be done fighting for you.
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