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Available Light II


 



Is that what happens to us? A life of conflict with no time for friends so that when it's done, only our enemies leave roses?


The fact that I’m always going to be there and always going to care enough to be there to be concerned when you crack the door open a little doesn’t mean I’m going to be a doormat or be there just because you need a protector. It’ll happen anyways that’s my nature. But you don’t need me, not the way you think you do... and the fact you are always the one unwilling to make that next step is exactly why I will walk away every time, I have my own life, I have my own things going on... I don’t need to be you’re distraction... esp on a weekend or a week when all I am is depressed about decisions you made for the both of... decisions that fucking broke us. We haven’t been the same since because you didn’t trust me to do the right thing.... because you didn’t know what I was doing that week regardless. 


I will always be there and there is no anger and there is no revenge wanted but i do feel taken for granted when you give a little light and I dwell on you’re every word and I hold on to all the things you say good and bad for a very long time... I’m glad it doesn’t turn to anger anymore. But sometimes it still just turns to empty....


...and it still hurts when you shine a little light and give me hope.


One day, that emotion might go away. But not today.


I’ll always be there, whether I like it or not. That’s who I am. That’s who I’m always going to be.


The Constant. 

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