Skip to main content

Saviour.






I'm hurting, and it's from the same old betrayal and games you always play. It's hard to move on when there is nothing left and you are the only thing I want at the end. But we aren't even close to the end. You're just a maybe in my life right and that pain and hollowness in my soul is a burning constant of what once was...


You come back when you need a moment of that, I live in that. The emotion is always here and it's always real. It does not go away. It never has it never will. I just hurt.


You make shitty choices and always expect me to be there to catch you without giving me any fucking reason to... for now, I'll be there. But one day I won't be... for whatever reason. It's hard being you're rock and having your back when I know you don't fucking have mine. 


I don't even understand why exactly I should have you're back... you've always stuck the knife in mine. But I'm always here, my loyalty remains... there's more to it than you and me, there always has been. I don't know how else to explain that part nor do I want to...


I knew you were the one, but I didn't volunteer for the last two decades of hell or for the fact that now all you want me to do is stand still while you live you're life.


I shouldn't have to be you're saviour, you never were mine. 


Current Mood: confused.

Current Music: Children of Bodom, In Your Face.


Monsters are born too tall, too strong, too heavy—that is their tragedy.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th