I ain’t got time for anyone to be in my life that isn’t 100% ride or fucking die, even you... you might be there at the end but you’re not there now. I’m done waiting. Everyone eventually goes and I remain, right fucking here. But I am to a point in my life where standing still is no longer a fucking option. I have things to do. I have plans. I’m not going to wait just to be broken by you’re bullshit Again. I am good at one fucking thing, moving on. I’ve done it my entire life.
I’m working you and all the other bad influences out of my life a little bit every day. I know the good things in my life that I had and the things and people I still have. I don’t have anything to regret and absolutely nothing at this point to ever answer for. This is where I stand. This is who I am. I will always be the same fucking person. You were right about that. I don’t change. I just get old and more stubborn.
It’s not just about you, I watch the days pass and I notice that it’s the same fucking pattern with some of the people in my life... you were a little bit more credible than some of them, I will give you credit and respect for that... but you put me thru a bitter war for a decade and a half and you’ve played emotional mindgames for the last 3 years. So I’m not sure I can reconcile all of that in my head.
Before you came back I was at peace, I was happy, you fucked with that. You are a good influence in ways because you motivate, but in other ways you’re a bad influence because you also turn me self destructive and angry because of the emotions I have for you.
They don’t go away and I can’t turn them off. I can only turn them into anger and hate... I’m not there yet... but one day I might be.
It’s happened before... and you fucking deserved it.
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