A Tale That Wasn’t Right.

Our story isn’t finished. The fact that we respond to each other in the moments that matter. It means one day maybe there is hope to fix it. I don’t know how much trying I have left in me anymore. You’ve gotta come to me, my life doesn’t reach to you. That’s the status quo that’s where we stand right now.

I’m enjoying my life and my adventures. And I wish so much for some of them that you and him were beside me, but that’s always going to be your choice not mine. I’m on your schedule. I just want to fix the things that went wrong. We should be a family not adversaries. I’m good with being at peace with you and I’m happy with my life and the way it stands.

I spent too much time chasing something else and I had nothing to show for it, so I’m happy with my place in life. I’m stable. You and him are the only things missing in my life. But I am not chasing half moments. All or nothing you made that clear. So will I.

It’s in your hands to fix this now. To fix the tale that wasn’t right.

I have always played by my own rules and followed my own path. Once you were part of that path. Once you should have stayed part of that path. I’d like us to find that again.

Our story isn’t over.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

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