The Sound Of Silence.

I will be here. You and I both know that. There is no one else. There is no other choice because you will destroy it. I have no question about that. Just like you destroyed everything else. But you have always forgotten, I am the approaching storm, you can’t destroy something like that. You can just tear it down a little bit. But I am a force of nature and I just smile when you drown me in gasoline and I dance in the fire. Because that’s exactly who I am. I have survived things that would have killed and broke a weaker man.

But that’s part of the attraction isn’t it? That I’m not a weaker man. I take everything you give me and some of it I am aware it is a test and I just smile and get back up on me feet and say is that all you got? Gimme more, and I do it with a fucking psychotic smile…

This is where we are at right now. You come you go. I don’t really give a shit some days. I’m busy being at peace doing amazing shit with my friends and having epic nights.

You are simply not needed unless you are willing to give it 110% percent. You’re not the only one with an all or nothing expectation.

But you’ve never given me the true moment we need. Why the hell would I pause my life for you?

Enjoy jealousy.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you.

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