The Sound Of Silence.

I will be here. You and I both know that. There is no one else. There is no other choice because you will destroy it. I have no question about that. Just like you destroyed everything else. But you have always forgotten, I am the approaching storm, you can’t destroy something like that. You can just tear it down a little bit. But I am a force of nature and I just smile when you drown me in gasoline and I dance in the fire. Because that’s exactly who I am. I have survived things that would have killed and broke a weaker man.

But that’s part of the attraction isn’t it? That I’m not a weaker man. I take everything you give me and some of it I am aware it is a test and I just smile and get back up on me feet and say is that all you got? Gimme more, and I do it with a fucking psychotic smile…

This is where we are at right now. You come you go. I don’t really give a shit some days. I’m busy being at peace doing amazing shit with my friends and having epic nights.

You are simply not needed unless you are willing to give it 110% percent. You’re not the only one with an all or nothing expectation.

But you’ve never given me the true moment we need. Why the hell would I pause my life for you?

Enjoy jealousy.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind. I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine. I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy. I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...

Respite on the Spitalfeilds.

I get to hurt, that’s my curse. I feel everything. And it never goes away. It doesn’t matter if it’s peace of strife. I always miss him. He’s always there buried not so deep inside. Along side that in my heart lies hope. But right now, the price is simply too high to have him in my life. I’m not good with authority or conditions. And attempting controlling me has very negative conquences. So yeah, I’ll be here waiting. I should not hurt this much. Or be this sad. But it’s a fucking pain that never goes away except when it is replaced by anger. And I’m trying to fight that emotion off because bad things happen when I’m angry. And thats my secret Cap, I’m always angry. It’s what controls the hulk inside me from taking out an entire city block. I deserved better. This wasn’t the life I was promised. This is for sure not the life I promised my son. That was taken away from me. I’m not to blame. But I’ll be damned if suffers like an adult the way I had to. I will always be here b...

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