Skip to main content

My Plague.



When I am being manipulated by people I’m not even sure that I fucking respect in a way that may affect those I care about, there is a good fucking chance I will withdraw and pretend that you don’t fucking exist. I have never had a fucking problem with casting anyone out of my life that serves no fucking purpose. I’m starting to consider this with some people who are merely in orbit.  It’s not the usual suspect either. I’m just sick of being treated like a throwaway commodity instead of a useful freind. I just lost one of my good freinds and it cut deep. I don’t need any fake or fairweather fucking freinds.


If your actions affect me it is one thing, if your actions affect more than me it’s completely another. If you hurt someone I care about, here’s a fucking fact. I don’t care about myself. I’m fucking done playing nice. Affecting me is one thing. Affecting those I care about or hurting one of them, I’ll gladly take the bullet. 


If you give me a reason to show my fucking dark-side I wont fucking hesitate. This monster has teeth. And I’m not afraid to fucking show them.


I can and will turn fucking cold on anyone if I think your intentions are less than fucking pure on someone I care about. Period. Hell holds no surprises for me, neither does this earth. I’ve already seen the worst of it and I know how to read people. If i don’t trust you there’s a damn good reason.


Certain behaviours show exactly the kind of people I choose to associate with. And who I choose not to bother with.  I’m getting to a point where I will easily walk away from anyone that is drama in my life. So an insignificant insect in the scheme of all the long days of my life? You were already forgotten.


You merely proved yourself recently. And you know what, I’m absolutely fine with finally eliminating gnats from my life. You wont be the first annoyance that benefited my life in exactly a zero meaningful way. And you wont be the fucking last. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...