I'll Be Your Monster II

Youve already made me a demon. I might as well accept my role as the fucking monster in the story too. I've embraced being the devil and the demon for far too long. I am the monster that used to lie in your bed. But i haven't forgotten the monster you turned me into. I look him dead in the eye every morning in the mirror. I know what you created and what you destroyed. I wander dark halls of my own volition, but the darkness you lead down is worse than any hell i can imagine.
I wouldn't want to be in your head and i hardly want to be in my own.

I'm sick of being angry and i'm trying to find peace, but any moment you are in my life its just turmoil.

I don't think i am going to be there. It hurts too much. All i have been for a minute is depressed. That's always been your affect on me. To pull me into a black hole even deeper than my usual darkness.

I have to make a decison soon. You were my enemy once. You are just a memory now. But when i slam the door completely shut it will be forever. Demon, Devil, Monster... all the things i promised you that i was... in your mind confirmed.

But the one thing you never expected me to be, i will become. Your Black Hole. You will be gone. A passing memory. Gone.

Where i should have left you 20 years ago.

Current Music: The Men of No Mans Land, Panzerfaust.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me. I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period.

The Dying False King.

I am a ghost and a spectre in a lot of peoples lives that I have touched. Some I shouldn’t be, and some I have willingly walked away for my own mental health. I’m starting to get to that point with many things in my life agian. I thought it would be easier to live a simple life and just have fun but I think it’s harder than when I worked my face off as a father. At least then my enemies didn’t pretend to be my freinds and the world wasn’t falling apart slowly. Just my world. I think I prefer whatever that was then compared to what the world is now. I have my own life and adventures and I don’t need anyone that doesn’t want or need to be in my life. I have fun with what I do and don’t let negative sources affect my life. If you’re gonna drag me down, I’ll be gone. That’s how it works. You’re not going to disturb my fucking peace. That’s what the metal shows are for. That is anger’s release. Plus to have fun.

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