Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

Sometimes too much of a good thing is a bad thing, I like hanging out with my freinds but when it's the end of the month and i have things to do and all they want to do is sit around do nothing and want me to hang out with them on my time off it can get annoying, i need some time for my self sometimes, seems I only get that on days i work and most of that day is spent sleeping. Current Mood: Annoyed. If we were faultless we should not be so much annoyed by the defects of those with whom we associate.

He's pretty happy, he got his first real pokemon game for himself yesterday as an early easter present, i'm happy because all my troubles in the world melt away when i'm with him, we had a good weekends sitting around doing nothing... i wishi i had all the time in world, we had a good dicsuuion on how giving someone a hug can make them a hero, he's starting to understand what daddy does for a living a little more.... the rain couldn't ruin the weekend he loves jumping in puddles and the rain, just like his mother and storms i guess.... Current Mood: Happy. When one has not had a good father, one must create one

it's amazing that He knows more about the superhero's than I do, he is a really smart and bright kid and loves his superheros, He is being really well behaved today and is being really really good, he is so well adjested it's very surprising and it seems he is getting smarter every day, i am so proud of him and always will be, i love the fact i was able to have a long weekend with him, he makes all the worlds problems just melt away. Current mood: Happy!!! All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.

Looking forward to this weekend, there are times in my life when i can let all the bullshit just pass me by and deal with what is most important, we are gonna go see that how train a dragon movie and just hang out all weekend, it's been a while since i've had him for an entire weekend and i'm pretty happy about that. I still have questions lingering but as long as everything remians positive it'll be all good, i'd rather be happy than deal with the what if and the what i could have done's. Current Mood: Happiness. Current Music: Wake me when September ends, Green Day We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

I have never hidden the fact that my life isn't an easy one, and the people besides me are merely passengers on my runaways train, eventually most of my loved ones fall off or depart the train, there simply isn't enough room for them in the dark places of heartache and dispair, I am not one to judge or to be judged however, i make my own personal decisions in my life and for better or worse i see them thru, part of problem is the goals i set for myself decades ago all came true, just not in the manner i expected, the darkness has never left, there have been times when the demon that seems to control my destiny has be allievated by the light but for the most part he's always there, taunting me... there is only one true love in my life and If i succeed in not scaring him away by the time his in a dult i will have done my job as a human being, as parent and as a father, the rest of your are immaterial, i still have some goals, but they wane, i have a materialistic life now tha...

I am at a place where I am unsure of Myself, there's seems to be an offer of something out theere but i do not trust it as it would sacrifice everything i have worked hard and towards in the last year, i think that i would rather remain at status quo than take my chances and burn a bridge i'd rather not break, true I am frustrated but I also do not want to be locked into something that i will enjoy even less and end up being even more miserable, i think it's better to stand still then to move if the decision is incorrect. Current Mood: Conflicted. Most of us are caught up in an endless series of inward conflicts and without resolving them life is utterly wasteful and empty.

Blew off some steram last night and feel a lot better, i need to find more productive things to do with my life instead of sitting around at home doing nothing waiting for the winter to end, it's nice that i have been asked to do a second job like my first at another organization but i have a serious question of making the position work with the little one as it's a live in position and i don't think i ever want to expose my son to that, it's hard enough working at my job, doing it day in and day out in a live in type enviorment might not be such a good idea. Current Mood: Renewed. An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools