I have never hidden the fact that my life isn't an easy one, and the people besides me are merely passengers on my runaways train, eventually most of my loved ones fall off or depart the train, there simply isn't enough room for them in the dark places of heartache and dispair, I am not one to judge or to be judged however, i make my own personal decisions in my life and for better or worse i see them thru, part of problem is the goals i set for myself decades ago all came true, just not in the manner i expected, the darkness has never left, there have been times when the demon that seems to control my destiny has be allievated by the light but for the most part he's always there, taunting me... there is only one true love in my life and If i succeed in not scaring him away by the time his in a dult i will have done my job as a human being, as parent and as a father, the rest of your are immaterial, i still have some goals, but they wane, i have a materialistic life now that i despise yet, without all these toys what would i do with my poverty, would i still want the things i have strived so hard to get, or would i have been happier still playing guitar on the corner, sitting in college hanging out with the girl, wicca classes on the detriot river, there are so many ways my life could have turned out not as it is, and somehow i can't be bothered to play the game of what if, or the game of who's the better killer, i already know, i killed all my dreams so my ambition could live, and now it's slowly dying as well.
Current Mood: Bitter.
I'm just another thing on that precious altar of yours. Just another sacrifice you've made along the way to your glorious ambition
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