The System has Failed.

My teeth are still being a bitch and it would be nice to sleep some fucking time.. the misscommunication is starting to really piss me off and get me down at work, i was almost ready to quit yesterday, do people not realize i'm fucking nocturnal and i don't sleep normally at work? esp. when i am forced to function by my own choice without prescrption medication because i don't like the effects of the pharmacutical i have been prescribed for tooth pain? some people are fucking oblivious, no fucking wonder i'm burning out fast and hard... this job can't last another year without changes, all my idealism is slowly draining out of my heart, there is only so much you can care about these kids without getting dragged down by the bullshit and the politics, and being laughed at by the stupid pig fuckers doesn't help either. remind me agian why i hate cops? to quote my sister, if you put a kid in a home where others have a criminal record and child is prone to agression that kid will end up with a criminal record, trust me it's true, ask her.

Current mood: Tired.
Current Music: Cemetery Gates, Pantera
Each night I go to bed
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
No, I ain't lookin' for forgiveness
But before I'm six foot deep
Lord, I got to ask a favor
And I'll hope you'll understand
'Cause I've lived life to the fullest
Let this boy die like a man
Starin' down the bullet
Let me make my final stand

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

The Sinner.

I make no Bones that I’m a bad person, and I’m someone who has made mistakes. I take pride in being the bad guy, the villain and most of all a willing sinner. I will take full responsibility for all the things I have done. It’s the one thing I didn’t do I was convicted on. But that was my choice, when I make the gates of St. Peter or the gates of hell I can be judged. After all I have a throne waiting. I hold no illusions as to where I’m headed. The thing is people like you will join me there. I’ll see you on the seventh layer reserved for betrayers. The sad part is that if you remained a fucking ghost I would not have had an issue with you. But you had to make it fucking personal. Father Time has a long memory, and I don’t forget anything. You have some serious skeletons rattling in your closet and I can destroy you. I’m already dead, I’ve already been killed. One shot, Boom. Children’s aid won. Nothing you or anyone else can do, can hurt me. You can only hurt those I care about. And ...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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