For the first time In my adult life i am feeling trapped, there is very little joy in my life, I am at a job that i can no longer see a bright spot at the end of the tunnel and I don't feel I am actually making a diffrence in my clients life, i just feel like a placeholder, used when I'm need and washed up and forgotten about when I am not needed, as much as i have tried to make a positive out of a negative with all this expected time off in the next two weeks I am expecting less positive emotion from the free time, i still have to sit around on call. In college and ubiversity I felt freeier than i do now, i cannot see anything positive in my life 10 days out of every 14 and that's just fucking sad. I no longer have the freedom to go and do what i want when i want, and given the fact i feel like i'm a placeholder I am feeling like my life has turned stagnant, when I sit around at home and watch TV and go to work and sleep and more TV and more Work and sleep, I had Loftier Goals for my mid 30's i need to start making Goals agian, and maybe make a lifestyle and/or carreer change and soon.
Current Mood: Depressed
My generation's apathy. I'm disgusted with it. I'm disgusted with my own apathy too, for being spineless and not always standing up against racism, sexism and all those other -isms the counterculture has been whinning about for years.
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