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Year Two.


After 1 solid year at this job the love/hate relationship with my job continues, I am feeling the fact i have worked 5 days straight with one more night to come tonight, it's stressful and taking a toll... i am becoming very much a robot in my personal life, just functional enough to get things done, but very little emotion in doing them.. and it doesn't help when I have a rough morning and get punched in the face at work. I am feeling like this is a lost cause, i make some diffrences in terms of their little lives but some times, some mornings it just seems like an exercise in futility. i really need to be finding other options to fufill my career goals and i don't they will be ever satisfied here, the fact that the politics and the bullshit are dragging down the fact that these kids need help is becoming unbearable. I realized today that it's not just the internal politics it's also the constraints and politics of the System in particular Hamilton CAS and Niagara FACS. i need to start looking at ways to be on the advocacy side of things even if it is just me writing papers for submission to journals and shit, but i need to doing something. I'll go insane if I don't find a way to deal with the abuses in the system. I had such lofty goals of changing the world, now i'm just engaging in employment related survival.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Looks So Pretty, Kittie.
Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.

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