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Death: The High Cost of Living II

It occurs to me right now that this one of the weeks when i would have a vacation as she was informed a long time ago that because of my now former employer needing at least a few months notice on vacation, that i would be taking the first and last's weeks of august for vacation, one week to go away with him and the other week possibly for him to go to camp and get ready to go back to school, now I am once again in a losing battle in which neither side is going to fucking win and the best we can hope for is that because of her nonsense that child doesn't end up too scarred...I almost regret returning to central Ontario to deal with my responsibilities as a father, but given my inner make up, even if it ends up costing me everything, and right now that's exactly how it feels, how could i not? it's not him that's the selfish one.. he's not the one that is so selfish and conceited and controlling that everything needs to be her way, i should have known this when the first signs of promiscuity and gold digging started to show themselves way back then a decade ago.. sometimes you show the whore the door in the morning... I hate that she has replaced any emotion i have ever had for her with a black hole of hate, but her actions has made it that way.... I'd rather be alone than constantly feel her jagged edged words and biting daggers of betrayal over and over agian, one day that boy will know the truth and it will not be the lies you foretold... nothing like using ones own flawed back story against him and then getting some sycophantic social worker to follow along, let's talk to everyone involved about what this is really about.. it's about revenge.. and it's about Money... you don't want to to get a lawyer to fight me on my own terms so instead you use a backdoor to destroy my career and my relationship with my son, short term maybe because i was willing to play along out of concern for him i was willing to play along and not get the lawyer's involved... but when you leave me with nothing... (again... the last few times we have had a relationship i ended up starting over with nothing..only when i stuck to my guns and decided not to completely become a symbiotic partnership with you... and we saw how well that lasted on Dec. 31, 2004 didn't we.).. right now there's nothing.. i have nothing... at least once upon a time i could say i had my career and school but now you've taken that completely away... I think that a judge will see that this is cold hearted and a plan to discredit me and a plot for revenge... why would I spend all the time in the world to become exactly what i wanted to be and have a hard time with school and study late hours if i was going to destroy myself and my child a decade later... I don't think like that.. obviously you do.. the darker mirrors edge will be reflected on you.... you are one of the few fucking people who have ever lived with me.. and the only one during my education, a distraction maybe... but you know how much of heart and soul i bled into what i wanted to be for the rest of my life.. how much i studied, what was sacrificed for time to study to get an A on that exam, of course you helped break me down in university so completely destroying me should have been expected... I just hope that the scales of justice are blind when it comes to going back to court and they truly see you for the person that you are... a jealous spiteful woman looking for revenge on her ex partner using her one and only child as a pawn against his father.. No good can come from holding a grudge.. and holding a knife with the intention of revenge is like cutting yourself with the same blade... Anything you can throw at me i can take.. I've faced many battles in my life.. this may be the worst one...but i doubt it will be the last one... and as long as the one thing you can't destroy is my will.. I'll be fine... no matter what purgatory you seek to throw me in. we will how the game is played on Monday... please be smart enough to come to court without a lawyer and think that the corrupt social services net of Niagara Falls is going to remain on your side when the weaker points of your case are very obvious in front of a judge and it's obvious this is not motivated out of concern but out of revenge....

Current Mood: Depressed, Determined.
Revenge is always the weak pleasure of a little and narrow mind.

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