Skip to main content

One More Fucking Time...

The time is over for feeling sorry for myself, and hurting, in war there is no time for the pain of emotions, i've got to use it and channel it, make her feel the way i do, make her feel fucking fear, make her regret the things she's done over the last ten years... of course some of the fault should be admittedly be mine, i should have left her on hull river on July 1st, 2001.. my life would be simpler, it's funny how college and university and all of the experiences in the last ten years and before would lead me to a fucking place where i was prepared for a battle like this... None of that matter because the genetics under my skin are more fucking important according to some people that don't understand a fucking thing..this is a vindictive woman who was jealous i finally found some happiness with my son that didn't include her, and my son was part of that... so she had to use the only nuclear option she had left and destroy it, or at least attempt to destroy it... Newsflash bitch, that relationship is almost as old as I AM, AND IT WILL ENDURE.. as will the relationship the kids were building will, you can't take anything away from me... you might be able to fucking stall my life for a minute but only for a fucking minute... there will be vindication and there will be the eventual victory, why do you still choose to fucking fight, does it make you happy, are you enjoying your life in misery, Jesus Christ you turned 37 yesterday and you will die alone, bitter, an old crone... I'm too old for battles, 35 years in 3 weeks and I'm doing the same thing i was doing with you, fighting the same dance we waltzed when i was 24. this time it ends this time i make sure you can't pull something like this again, the time for games, sorrow or anything other than the final battle for that childs mental health and soul is behind us... there is only me and you and who is right and who is manipulating the world to suit her agenda.... if you wanted me gone you never should have had a child with me... as old as I get i will still be here standing tall for my son, nothing you do can ever take me away, or crush that fighting spirit.

Dieppe, Thursday.

Current Mood: Determined.
The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more