Skip to main content

One More Fucking Time...

The time is over for feeling sorry for myself, and hurting, in war there is no time for the pain of emotions, i've got to use it and channel it, make her feel the way i do, make her feel fucking fear, make her regret the things she's done over the last ten years... of course some of the fault should be admittedly be mine, i should have left her on hull river on July 1st, 2001.. my life would be simpler, it's funny how college and university and all of the experiences in the last ten years and before would lead me to a fucking place where i was prepared for a battle like this... None of that matter because the genetics under my skin are more fucking important according to some people that don't understand a fucking thing..this is a vindictive woman who was jealous i finally found some happiness with my son that didn't include her, and my son was part of that... so she had to use the only nuclear option she had left and destroy it, or at least attempt to destroy it... Newsflash bitch, that relationship is almost as old as I AM, AND IT WILL ENDURE.. as will the relationship the kids were building will, you can't take anything away from me... you might be able to fucking stall my life for a minute but only for a fucking minute... there will be vindication and there will be the eventual victory, why do you still choose to fucking fight, does it make you happy, are you enjoying your life in misery, Jesus Christ you turned 37 yesterday and you will die alone, bitter, an old crone... I'm too old for battles, 35 years in 3 weeks and I'm doing the same thing i was doing with you, fighting the same dance we waltzed when i was 24. this time it ends this time i make sure you can't pull something like this again, the time for games, sorrow or anything other than the final battle for that childs mental health and soul is behind us... there is only me and you and who is right and who is manipulating the world to suit her agenda.... if you wanted me gone you never should have had a child with me... as old as I get i will still be here standing tall for my son, nothing you do can ever take me away, or crush that fighting spirit.

Dieppe, Thursday.

Current Mood: Determined.
The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more