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One More Fucking Time...

The time is over for feeling sorry for myself, and hurting, in war there is no time for the pain of emotions, i've got to use it and channel it, make her feel the way i do, make her feel fucking fear, make her regret the things she's done over the last ten years... of course some of the fault should be admittedly be mine, i should have left her on hull river on July 1st, 2001.. my life would be simpler, it's funny how college and university and all of the experiences in the last ten years and before would lead me to a fucking place where i was prepared for a battle like this... None of that matter because the genetics under my skin are more fucking important according to some people that don't understand a fucking thing..this is a vindictive woman who was jealous i finally found some happiness with my son that didn't include her, and my son was part of that... so she had to use the only nuclear option she had left and destroy it, or at least attempt to destroy it... Newsflash bitch, that relationship is almost as old as I AM, AND IT WILL ENDURE.. as will the relationship the kids were building will, you can't take anything away from me... you might be able to fucking stall my life for a minute but only for a fucking minute... there will be vindication and there will be the eventual victory, why do you still choose to fucking fight, does it make you happy, are you enjoying your life in misery, Jesus Christ you turned 37 yesterday and you will die alone, bitter, an old crone... I'm too old for battles, 35 years in 3 weeks and I'm doing the same thing i was doing with you, fighting the same dance we waltzed when i was 24. this time it ends this time i make sure you can't pull something like this again, the time for games, sorrow or anything other than the final battle for that childs mental health and soul is behind us... there is only me and you and who is right and who is manipulating the world to suit her agenda.... if you wanted me gone you never should have had a child with me... as old as I get i will still be here standing tall for my son, nothing you do can ever take me away, or crush that fighting spirit.

Dieppe, Thursday.

Current Mood: Determined.
The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win.

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