Skip to main content

Judge Death.


One is getting to the point where wallowing in despair and not doing anything is accomplishing little.. it's time to get on the fucking offensive and start making lives hell, just as my life has been torn apart... feeling the fact that in this battle i have never felt more truly alone than i do right now, even tho i know i have supports, the worst of it is on the weekends because i should be sitting at home watching him sleep or play Nintendo instead of wandering the streets because i feel lost inside and the more time i spend at home surrounded by his things the darker and angrier my thoughts become, when everything has been taking from you it is very easy to fall into old habits but for the moment i am trying to hold my head up and stop from drowning in my own dark thoughts.... sometimes it would have been easier to walk away but I'm not built like that.. and it's time for me to take control of my own life and make people answer... because i will not go down without a fight....

Current Mood: Depressed, Tired.
The best manner of avenging ourselves is by not resembling she who injured us; and it is hardly possible for one man to be more unlike another than he that forbears to avenge himself of wrong is to her who did the wrong.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Villian

I've never gave a rats ass about being the bad guy. But I have cared about being a fairweather freind and how I reflect on being a role model to my son. I will walk away from any bad actors or bad relationships that endanger the relationship I am slowly attempting to rebuild.  I know I can be a prick. But when you hurt someone I care about, I do not trust you that you may affect those I care about. I burn bridges with gasoline while I'm standing upon them.  It wont be the first multiple decade freindship ive demolished, it won't be the last. Im starting to reevaluate a lot of drinking buddies agian to see who is actually something and who I just party with. If I'm obviously moving in a direction thats going to have me ghosting someone whose been around for a minute, so be it. It wont even be the first one this year. I dont look back. And I dont care, if I exclude you from my life, thats an ending that's where its done.  I am making choices for my future and its pret...
Post a Comment
Read more