Skip to main content

The Boy that you loved is the Man that you fear....

I Have absolutely nothing to fear because tomorow the gears of war start churning and things in this fucking world start changing, but knowing that you are directly lying and contradicting yourself is just fine with me, we all get to hell in our own way, but when you are digging your own hole trying to damn me to purgatory the only person you are hurting is someone completely innocent and one day if not already he will resent you for it, You can strip me bare i have nothing to hide, you know me heart and soul and you are using what's left of my heart to destroy my soul, but you know what... that little person is better than both of us and that's the only thing worth fighting for, and if this is the path you choose, you'll lose... i'll win... or i'll never start fighting, but the fact is that you are afraid, but i don't think it is of me... I think you are afraid of the game you have been playing, I hope that you fear me, but i don't think you do.... I think this is just another way for you to eliminate me from his life, and in that case there is no fucking way i would ever fear you, and i won't and i cannot. please feel feel free to be afraid of me tho, I welcome it... but there is no reason that child should ever have had a reason to fear me except for your manipulations.... and soon i will prove that that is all that they are.

Current Mood:Determined.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner
eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 

Return To The Abyss.

If anyone thinks they can take advantage of me and the people I care about, they are sadly mistaken. I walk away from people I love because of their bullshit. Someone who is merely there in my life? Yeah, I’m fucking out. I don’t need emotional vampires that suck me dry in my life. I will walk away from anything and everything at this point. I no longer give a damn about anything other than myself when it comes to your opinion.  This decision and many others have been a long fucking time coming and to be honest I’m better off doing my own thing alone and solo. Because it’s better off for all involved. There’s still a temper and there is still the old me hidden underneath this attempt at seeking peace. I’m not a nice guy, I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. And I’m not keeping my fucking mouth shut.  No one fucking uses me, Period. And thats all I’ve felt I’ve been over the last few years. By a number of people in my professional life and my personal life. So maybe at this mom...