Skip to main content

House Of Cards II

I know that this is just another Change in a life full of them, but sometimes little things that are so important like the places we live, and the materialistic things we put inside of them are not important, I have good memories here and It's a true fact that this is just bad timing for the house of cards to be falling apart, I am really angry and pissed off that all this suffering has been for naught and now I am faced with the dilemma of having to find a new place to live..I have options but the truth is.. I really don't want to go anywhere. the fact that all I am really hearing is silence thru a path of smoke and mirrors and I am unsure what the game is or the truth of the matter... I guess it will all come to a head at the end of the month when rent is required and we find out what's going on with everything, but right now I am very frustrated.. I fought very hard to keep this place... He chose it... He will be disappointed to find out I have moved.. this Is our home.. this is why I have suffered in silence without complaint for many many months... If i had known this would have been the end game i'd have left and disappointed from here a long time ago... why sacrifice everything to always come home to an empty house.. and Now I don't even have that. I don't want to Fuckin Move... sick of being a nomad... every goddamn time i find peace and set down roots i am violently uprooted... why bother trying anymore...

Current Mood: Sad, Angry.
Home is a notion that only nations of the homeless fully appreciate and only the uprooted comprehend

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more