Skip to main content

House Of Cards II

I know that this is just another Change in a life full of them, but sometimes little things that are so important like the places we live, and the materialistic things we put inside of them are not important, I have good memories here and It's a true fact that this is just bad timing for the house of cards to be falling apart, I am really angry and pissed off that all this suffering has been for naught and now I am faced with the dilemma of having to find a new place to live..I have options but the truth is.. I really don't want to go anywhere. the fact that all I am really hearing is silence thru a path of smoke and mirrors and I am unsure what the game is or the truth of the matter... I guess it will all come to a head at the end of the month when rent is required and we find out what's going on with everything, but right now I am very frustrated.. I fought very hard to keep this place... He chose it... He will be disappointed to find out I have moved.. this Is our home.. this is why I have suffered in silence without complaint for many many months... If i had known this would have been the end game i'd have left and disappointed from here a long time ago... why sacrifice everything to always come home to an empty house.. and Now I don't even have that. I don't want to Fuckin Move... sick of being a nomad... every goddamn time i find peace and set down roots i am violently uprooted... why bother trying anymore...

Current Mood: Sad, Angry.
Home is a notion that only nations of the homeless fully appreciate and only the uprooted comprehend

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more