Skip to main content

I Hate....

Another day where there Is nothing going on In my life and I am just fucking waiting, wanting something to fucking change.. and it isn't I am spinning my wheels... I can see light at the end of the tunnel... i can feel that things will one day eventually change but i am trapped... I feel so fucking small.. and it does not fucking help that everything is so complicated that The small things that mean the most are the things that hurt the most... when someone knows exactly how to make you bleed that's how they turn the screw.... Another year of nothingness.. more waiting, less patience.... I am becoming someone else... the best and most bitter parts of my soul are just spinnging their wheels.. there's no point in doing anything except looking down into the void, and making a choice to let it consume me... or wait upon the precipice waiting.... I'm sick of being angry, I'm sick of having nothing to lose... I'm sick of hating everything around me and staring at four walls and a funeral, I'm sick of being hungry.. I'm sick of being manipulated into choices that have one by one destroyed my entire life.. like a master chess master at a game.. guess what bitch, stalemate... it's your move and you don't have one....

Current Mood: Angry, Depressed.
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no lon...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serpent's Kiss.

I pass in and out of peoples lives. sometimes i wonder why they come back. sometimes i wonder if the issue is me. i do grand things and i back up my plans and words and maybe sometimes thats too much for some. but all i have ever asked from those that i love is honesty. i don't care if things fall apart. all i need is the truth.  I'm getting to the point i don't trust fucking anyone. and being betrayed by those that are at best fairweather fucking friends when im not exactly finacally fucking stable.  there are reasons i keep my circle small and those i truly trust even closer. it takes a lot to be a part of my life and and i am seriously considering withdrawing from some of my social activities again because it seems like the last couple years they just turn to shit and all i am doing is losing money. i have stopped caring about a lot of people in the past and it can be real fuckin easy for me to walk away from agian. id rather work on the relationships both old and new th...
Post a Comment
Read more