I need to concentrate on the positive things in my life instead of allowing the anger and depression and darkness to overtake me, yes there are things in my life i cannot control due to other's actions and behaviors and there are things in my life that i can control with my own behavior, my own personal descent into my own fucking darkness is one of them, I don't need to allow it to take me over when I am hurting, I need to use it as a lightning rod and make that same darkness my strength and use it against whatever my perceived enemy is... I need to be strong not just for myself but for the others that matter in my life so I don't drag them down the same dark path that I seem to be on...I am angry, I am am depressed but I am also Determined, I am also ready for whatever challenges face me in the future, you can't break a man down from nothing when all he has is that nothing, And i do have things to be thankful for that keep me going, things like this weekend which while may be highly stressful over and above whatever current personal stressors I am undergoing, will also be fun and why wouldn't it be i am selling fucking transformers at one of the major 1980 toy conventions, i should have fun and I should make a bit of money for me and my partner, as well i have more stuff coming to move and sell and to add to my and my son's personal collections, it's time for me to make careful choices about the battles i choose to fight and not let the darkness over take me.. i received some good news today it's just fucking time to figure out the logistics and move to the next level and get things going again, i have been waiting for change, for anything to happen for far too long... the best defense is a good offence it's time to put that into place.Current Mood: Determined, Angry, Positive.
You can waste all of your time focusing on stuff in the past that you can't change or you can use your time to change the present.
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