A Good Man Goes To War II : Legacy

I'm not having a great time in my life right now, I can't feel much except darkness because everything in my life turned to shit and my little boy's things have been stolen, it's not the fact that i can replace them, it's the fact that i have been dealing with this insanity for over three years and i feel so fucking powerless.. there's not much i can do except hold the thorns in my hands that i have been dealt and turn them into a fist... that's exactly who I am, the survivor, the warrior, The war, the battle,the anger, the rage, the Fist, the Armageddon, Never the Victim, Never pretending to be one... i Know exactly who I am, You can't fucking destroy a wall that will stand after the fire... and I've been burning since the day i was born...but it's not about me... it's about making a better world for those that come after me, the important ones... there's only one reason I fight even when I'm falling apart... that's the only thing's that drives me, not the anger, not revenge, not the heart beating in my chest that does not exist, the only thing that drives me is the promise of tomorrows victory... this time of year should be a good and happy time for me and it isn't. Fuck you Jennifer.

Current Mood: Angry, Sad.
Current Music: Legacy, Eminem
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number. I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to. I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone. The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even. I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of. I’m not going to pretend to keep th

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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