Skip to main content

Declaration of Intent III: No Remorse

Tommorow is the beginning of what i have been fighting agianst the goverment to attain for three years... It's time to Finish this, good or bad, there will be an ending.. i am prepared for both eventualities but I am also prepared to give them hell because this is the End, I have been waiting for this hearing for almost three years and it is time to end the situation, I have been stuck in hell because i pissed off a social worker and her supervisior and they used smoke and mirrors to destroy my life... for some this wouldn't be a death sentence, for me it has been.. but i have freinds and i have family and they have supported me thru this, even the ones angry at me and not talking to me currently..i respect all of their support, even if this is something i am doing alone... I know that they are their behind me... and some come thru in ways i have not expected... this is a battle long forthcoming and i do not claim to know any of the answers, but i do know that this will be an ending, I have nothing to look forward to tommorow except finally being able to show some of the facts bhind her smoke and mirrors, and her nonsense is ending, I don't want to get into the anger I feel towards her because of recent devolopments because today, tonight that isn't important it is something i can deal with next week, for tonight and tommorow it's time to be centered and focused, this is an ending battle to a war, and it's not agianst her, this battle she was merely a participant, this war is older than the relationship, this war began when i was a child... and because i was a child.. this is merely the next step, this is one of the things that get's him home... at least i will have some answers and some finality and be able to go forward. I'm going to give them Hell, I'm going to show them the same respect they gave me from the beginning, There will be No remorse. this is a final end game for this part of equation their will be no more waiting, no more stalling. this is an END, this is what I need to deal with right now to get my life back, i have been imprisoned but not guilty for 3 and a half years and this will finally be the end of that hell, win or lose i will have finally had a day of judgement... it will not be from behind closed doors that can destroy a man anymore, I will face my enemies and i will not fear them, I never did from the start, I'm not about to back down and show fear now.. I am afraid but not of them.

Current Mood: Determined, Afraid, Angry.

I cannot show remorse because I do not believe I am guilty.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...
Post a Comment
Read more