No matter what, I keep coming back
And how you try to hold me down
But you end up driven to the ground
Don't want no revenge
Ain't no pay back time
It ain't called getting even
Here comes the reckoning day
You see what kills your body but you don’t see what kills your soul.
This has never been about revenge, it has always been about protecting my son, something you and your actions have proven yourself incapable of doing. It was fucking great to have a week and a half without your nonsense being the pervasive factor in my life but unfortunately recent events involving both of us have forced my hand and I do need to confront you, your actions and this head on. It bothers me to know that even the OCL Report is invalid because of the things that you're brother and you have done, I may have loved your mother, but there is no love lost between me and you, the simple fact that you defended that price of shit after letting him into your home after he had done this is enough to erode and meaningless feelings or sympathy I made have for you at the bottom of my cold,black, angry, heart. This is only about my sons safety and all you have done is manipulate the system with your smoke and mirrors for the greater part of the last four years, but the blood isn't on my hands it's on yours, and the fact remains is that you have failed to protect my son from the darkness in your own family, so it is time to take the blinders off and pretend that you are still a good mother that has his interests at heart no matter how screwed up your personal feelings towards me are. The abject fucking bleak reality is that you are not a good mother, you are a selfish person that only looks out for yourself and doesn't care about others emotions, including using your child as a bargaining chip.... And you play on people's sympathies, I need to get my son away from that, because he should not have your values. I have my own darkness and set of flaws but the truth is I still have a soul, I don't know where yours went, but I'll be damned if I don't try everything in my power to save his. The fact that I have to deal with people with there own agendas and not my sons best interests is not at all impressive either. 4 years? When the fuck does all the stalling end? As much as she is responsible for some of it, she is not responsible for all of it, the sad reality is that there is an assistant that does not care and a lawyer who I fucking believe is milking the legal aid system for more money by extending things, there should have been motions for access and there should have been more done, this is not just about laziness or apathy towards me and my case, I'm almost wondering what the end game legally is here, the reality is my personal legal end game will not happen until he is 18 as we have spent all but one or two years of his young life tied up in court and that doesn't seem to be fucking changing, it's just fucking sad that it has never been my choice to go to court and fight for my son, but always my responsibility. I am a father, that choice was made for me rather than with me, but that little boy calls me daddy and it's the best feeling in the entire world, and regardless of the pain I feel or the hell I have to endure, all I can think is that it's a microcosm of what he has had to endure, and all that pain and sadness, that I lay at his mothers feet... That was your doing, you're the one that damaged our child, that's what when the time comes in this works or the next, you will have answer for... I can only hope that either me or my son will be there to bear witness.
I don't understand the fucking apathy when what is a nuclear fucking warhead as part of the fucking case is dropped into our hands, the fact that what's been given to us changes everything should be at least considered with a face to face not just disregarded. The man that killed my sons grandmother was arrested sleeping in my little boys house after the dead soul that is his mother allowed him in, and then the fucking bitch did an impact witness statement for the fucking goof? I may have a dark soul, but you Jennifer, you don't fucking have one period....I'm looking thru the looking glass at your insanity it's time to attack and hard and use everything that has been given to me, And those that fucking stand in my way.. including yourself... No Quarter.
Current Mood: Anger
Current Music: Nine Inch Nails - The Day The World Went Away
Don't pray for your soul...You never had one.
It is very hard for evil to take hold of the unconsenting soul.
I don't deserve a soul, yet I still have one. I know because it hurts.
You're in, my way. And I haven't got the time today. Best you, walk away. Live to fight another day.
Suffering is the result of the game. Victory, at the cost of pain. Like a freight train, and you're tied to the tracks. No way to escape, there's no coming back.....
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