Skip to main content

Till All Are Gone XVIII: New Years Evil II

The chains that break you, are the chains that make you. And the chains that make you, are the chains you break.

Sometimes people are so genuinely themselves they aren't conscious of the fact they have wronged you; sometimes you shouldn't care enough to bring it to their attention.


Today is the start of a New year and My biggest resolution the one I will Fucking keep is that I am completely Fucking done with this toy bullshit, It's Ended just as it began in a clusterfuck mess of people that are greedy and self entitled, making me waste my fucking time and effort and then turning into a fucking crybaby about how something isn't perfect at the agreed upon price, you know that's fucking fine... I have a child who will appreciate it on his glass shelf just as much as I would appreciate the fucking money, I've long since fucking cared about this fucking useless shit and I do have options that don't require a lack of fucking patience on my part, I have had a roller coaster adventure with this shit for the last 3 years and I'm more than fucking happy to see it ended. It's time to seriously focus my fucking energies elsewhere and do something with my fucking life instead of being reliant on this plastic shit to save the fuckin day, It has been nothing more than an albatross around my fucking neck, Now it's going to be gifts for my child and nothing else.. I have bigger things to deal with than distractions and game playing people that take me away from time with loved ones.. when push comes to shave I know exactly where I'd rather be and where I'm going to be. I don't need to keep chasing every last dollar here, I want it to stand for something and It will. I have decided to be done, and I am Done. A few more minor prearranged things and then it's a complete goodbye, I don't need this stress and bullshit in my life when i have real fucking battle's to fight. It's time to focus on that and only that. I don't have the time or patience for anyone else, this toy bullshit was always a distraction to me, A means to an End, and Now I truly Say it's finally over, I'm fucking done. it's time to attempt to go back to being the man i was and rebuild, Or at least pick up the fucking pieces and move on to whatever the next step of my fucking life is going to be.

Current Mood: Pissed Off.

What if all your hard work never pays off?
What if I am the outsider to my friends and family? What then?
What if all the good you’ve done has been transformed into evil and greed?
What if those you help the most, stabbed you in the back? What then?
Should I trust again?
What if life is unfair, painful and cruel?
What if Death invites you to join its tribe?
What if death makes you feel at peace and alive! What then?
Should I take death’s hand and walk away?
What then?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else.  This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over.  All of our moments are over.  I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts.  I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...