God grant me the courage not to give up what I think is right, even though I think it is hopeless.
It's time to go Back to the man I used to be, before all the fire and flames, before the fire inside burned itself out in a nuclear phoenix of hatred and anger, I am still the guy somewhere deep inside, it just takes a little more these day to find the hope that i can possibly make a change within the system rather than have it masked by bitterness, hatred and anger. The system has still failed but the only way to fix the fucking thing is always going to be from the inside. I'm no longer a younger man and Idealist about making that change, I just have to find my place to be first, and then possibly make some fucking changes, the first thing I need to go is go back to real fucking work and be the man I used to be, before the flames. It's time. I have an outlook that will give me more empathy and I clearly understand more now than ever the fatal flaws on the system and how fucked up both parents and the moronic system is. I have my own battles to still fight and I moved the pawns in the chess game around a bit more today, it's nice when one action can create so much movement both positive and negative in my life, but it can't and isn't my only focus. it's time to concentrate on the other things that make me whole, the other things that are missing. it will be a worthwhile distraction and it will be that something that strengthens me on that final battlefield, trust me... I've never feard my job, I've had a love/hate relationship with it a lot, but I chose to be a Child and youth worker, You could only take something away from me for a moment, you forget as Much as I love Him, I Fought to be the man i am, I had no problem fighting again when I needed to, now it's just time to go back to that person, maybe a little less idealistic, a little more bitter, maybe with a few less goals, it's not about burning it down, it never has been... but the Change i want to make Might just be affecting others with my good deeds rather than creating a complete change, that's all i ever wanted anyone to know anyways, I'll die for My principles...My Ideals, Maybe right now, it's time to live for them Instead.
Current Mood: Positive, Hopeful.
Current Music: Twiztid - Story Of Our Lives
I'm a fighter, and I'll be one for as long as I can. Mind you, if I took what I had now, and put it in a body that I had ten years ago, that would be someone I wouldn't want to fight.
There are but two types of men who desire war: those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves, and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is. … Any man who has seen the face of death knows better than to seek him out a second time.
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