I am strangely at peace with knowing that the toy thing is in my rear view mirror, I do have some good friends and some awesome stories to tell from the entire experience and the longer i look upon it and debate about what I am going to keep and what's left I realize that while it was an absolute adventure it always had a finite lifetime and there are other things I need to accomplish, maybe the first step in the next step of my life is looking back and finishing something I left a decade ago to accomplish something that was more Important to me in term's of being as much of a full time as i could have been. I have no regrets, but it's time for me to both look to a past to something that has always been important for me to finish and also to the future. it's not about who i was a moment ago, The toy thing has never defined me, it just took a while to realize that because of the dark places i was in... it was aplace i retreated to for a while to defend myself from the darker edges of my psyche to rein them in... now it's time to use some of that drive and stubbornness to finish my other goals in this life.... that's what is important, ending the game... i need to look at all the options in my life and move on, and I'm restrained by things that have tied me down for far too long, I've always been my own person and let no one, Not even her Control me, why the fuck do I pretend like I am any less now, it's time go back to find myself, It's time for me to define exactly who I am now, That has not changed.. I'll always find my fucking way. this is a just a now closed chapter in my life that i have No real interest in writing anymore about. This Is where it ends. Full Stop.
Current Mood: Determined. A Finality.
Current Music: Green Day, Holiday
Everything that has a beginning, has an end....
Whatever begins, also ends.
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
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