Skip to main content

One Bad Day.........

The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.

The next month is not going to be an easy one as I have reconcile for myself that it's been five years since you started this war, the fact that this was over nothing more than me taking a few extra days on a holiday? It's March break, my son should be here, happy and hanging out and checking out his new toys. That's not how it is tho, is it? That's not the people we are anymore, maybe it's not the people that we ever were, but I know this, it's not over, not yet, not by a long shot. I may stare the past in the face every fucking day of my life, but that only serves to remind me, that my future, my child is out there....and I have not and will not abandon him. That's not how this works. You know what that outcome is going to be, there's a reason I gave you the only terms of surrender you are ever going to fucking get, it was a way out, if I'm going to sulk and brood for a few more months, I will make sure when I meet you on that bloody battle feild, I give you no quarter, i will respond in kind, you have destroyed me and him, you tore my soul and son away from me, Expect nothing less, I will destroy you.

Current Mood: Sad.

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.