Skip to main content

Genisys

Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while that you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.

I'm not currently very fucking happy with this stage of my life, decisions are being made for me right in front of me without any input and very soon in a lot of ways I'm going to have to make some fucking choices that people aren't going to like to preserve my sanity and the things in my life that are of utmost importance to me, i keep smiling like nothings wrong basic on my principles but a man can't survive on his fucking principles alone, i don't mind sacrifice, but when it seems all that im fucking doing it's more than a little frustrating, having every choice questioned doesn't exactly comfort me as well... i just don't particularly care that in some aspects my needs, wants and responsibilties are being ignored while money is spent esp when it is my fucking money.... I'm on a limited fucking income and my bills come first... i don't want to owe money but when i see a deeper financial black hole growing, there comes a time when i walk away and stop caring... I'm getting to that fucking point.. it doesn't matter much how much i care and the connections i have made... I have a black soul and i have to take care of myself, there's no heart to heal here.... i will just feel bad for those i upset.. but certian things come first.. and i still have a battle to fight and war to win, anything detrimental to that and i'm gone.. and i'm getting to that fucking point.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Road to Nowhere, Ozzy

You're always going to be tearing away at yourself until you come to terms with what you are. Until you come full circle

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more