Skip to main content

Genisys

Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while that you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.

I'm not currently very fucking happy with this stage of my life, decisions are being made for me right in front of me without any input and very soon in a lot of ways I'm going to have to make some fucking choices that people aren't going to like to preserve my sanity and the things in my life that are of utmost importance to me, i keep smiling like nothings wrong basic on my principles but a man can't survive on his fucking principles alone, i don't mind sacrifice, but when it seems all that im fucking doing it's more than a little frustrating, having every choice questioned doesn't exactly comfort me as well... i just don't particularly care that in some aspects my needs, wants and responsibilties are being ignored while money is spent esp when it is my fucking money.... I'm on a limited fucking income and my bills come first... i don't want to owe money but when i see a deeper financial black hole growing, there comes a time when i walk away and stop caring... I'm getting to that fucking point.. it doesn't matter much how much i care and the connections i have made... I have a black soul and i have to take care of myself, there's no heart to heal here.... i will just feel bad for those i upset.. but certian things come first.. and i still have a battle to fight and war to win, anything detrimental to that and i'm gone.. and i'm getting to that fucking point.

Current Mood: Angry.
Current Music: Road to Nowhere, Ozzy

You're always going to be tearing away at yourself until you come to terms with what you are. Until you come full circle

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Threat.

I an not a nice person. I am not polite or nice. I am scary and intimidating and I draw power from that fact.  You fuck with the people I love and hurt them, I’m going to damage you in kind. I want people afraid of me. It means I’m respected. It means you’re intimidated. I would rather be horrifying damaged and leave with nothing if it gives me the power and the freedom to protect my friend’s and family.  Keep in mind a man with nothing to lose once had everything slip thru his fingers. And I have no fucking problem being a threat, to you, to my enemies, to society. You name it. I simply don’t care. The best defence has always been to confront and attack whatever the source of the problem. It hasn’t always brought me victory but at some point it’s brought me peace knowing that I’ve never backed down or done anything to hurt anyone. Just responded to what has happened to me and the ones I love. You don’t want to be my enemy. It’s a bad place to be. And once you are marked as su...

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...