It's kinda fucking cool that even tho my kid hasn't been able to enjoy the fruits of my labours the last few years other family members have, and good friends of mine have. I've been burnt and ripped off by more than a few, but I have some solid people that will stay as part of my life as a result. Little things like being asked for the dinosaur man mean everything to me on this holiday and make the pain go away for just a little while, and I'm glad these little things are things I can still do... And there will always be some left over to remind me that it was worth it, it will stand for something, it was a part of my life and I'm still here and still standing as a result, it wasn't all bad. Knowing that for all the fucking darkness it might have invited, that a little goodness has come out of it as well, it's a sobering thought and it does make me look back upon it with a little less regret. he will be home soon enough and there will always be things here for him, and things that stood for that last few years. it will fade into memory but not completely. It just sucks He doesn't have it now. that wasn't my decision.
Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Cinderella - Nobody's Fool
Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Cinderella - Nobody's Fool
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