Skip to main content

Me NO Bunny...Me Grimlock King...

It's kinda fucking cool that even tho my kid hasn't been able to enjoy the fruits of my labours the last few years other family members have, and good friends of mine have. I've been burnt and ripped off by more than a few, but I have some solid people that will stay as part of my life as a result. Little things like being asked for the dinosaur man mean everything to me on this holiday and make the pain go away for just a little while, and I'm glad these little things are things I can still do... And there will always be some left over to remind me that it was worth it, it will stand for something, it was a part of my life and I'm still here and still standing as a result, it wasn't all bad. Knowing that for all the fucking darkness it might have invited, that a little goodness has come out of it as well, it's a sobering thought and it does make me look back upon it with a little less regret. he will be home soon enough and there will always be things here for him, and things that stood for that last few years. it will fade into memory but not completely. It just sucks He doesn't have it now. that wasn't my decision.

Current Mood: Sad
Current Music: Cinderella - Nobody's Fool

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.