Skip to main content

All That Remains....




I am constantly reevualting everything and everyone in and out of my life and the decisions and choices I have fucking made, I know who I am and where I stand but it gets clearer and clearer every fucking day who has my back and who simply has need of me, there is a difference....

In the wreckage of my life I see clearer more than ever.... And when the dust and ashes amongst the ruins start to clear... I truly see who fucking cares and who has an agenda. I'm done with those with agendas. I'md done with a lot of falsehoods in my life, the world is on fucking fire.... I'm done with caring for those who treat me like a commodity.

I stand for myself and if I stand alone, so fucking be it. I'll still be standing. Same as it ever was. Nothing changes. Just the names and faces of the people that pass through my life do... If you doing that, do exactly that pass through. I'm already working on the next step.

I've got no time left in this life for those who don't have my back completely, my choices good or bad are always going to be the ones I run with and anyone attempting to manipulate me to their own ends will get left behind. I have a scorched earth policy for a reason, even if it leads me to ruin... It leads me there alone, on my own. No one else gets affected when I fall. No one else has to rebuild.

It's not the fact that I don't want anyone beside me when things start to burn.... It's the fact I'm starting to feel no one's going to fucking be there anyways... Just like last time and the time before that... And every other time my life has fallen apart... But surprisingly I'm fucking fine with that. I will always be just fucking fine with that...

....because that's who I am.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 

The Remedy

I am reminded when I need someone how truly alone I am in this world. Because for as much as I am the constant and the shoulder to cry on. The same respect isn’t accorded to me, obviously. It hasn’t been in years. This is why I have never and will never need you. I don’t need anyone. Especially when I am fucking hurting over a lost freind.  I hurt, I get to do that. I’m fine with that. I process and move on. I spend a couple days where I block out the world and keep going but I’m fine.  I don’t accord anyone I don’t trust or respect the time of day. It’s not about who it is. I’ll willing burn a bridge im fucking standing on if it means I take you with me if I see you as my enemy.  I’m on a quest for peace, anything that gets in the way of that or causes turmoil in my life can get the fuck out of my way or become ash, because I will go the fuck thru you. Affect my responsibilities in my life, I will accord the same respect you do to them, I don’t mind being a blunt instrum...