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Mary on A Cross




I will never be someone's second choice. You choose him... You played me like a fucking fool and choose him. I'm so fucking done. You played with my heart and my emotions and made me think there was something there. There isn't. I'm not going to crucify myself for someone who isn't 100 percent there in my life... These coffin nails in my hands bleed for no one that truly doesn't have my side... You either love me or you fucking don't. I got my answer. I'm fine with it. But it'll take a lot for me to forgive, sometimes it's just easier to fucking forget.

It's ok I'm used to it. Every one goes.. no one stays. I don't give a damn anymore. The only person that I can trust to have my back is me. That's how it is. That's always how it is. 

I'd rather be alone and know it than have someone pretend that I'm the only one when I am clearly fucking not. I'll learn to deal with it. 

The world is in flames and I have bigger real world concerns than relationship... I don't want one anyways. I'd rather die alone than ever have to have someone depend on me ever fucking again.  

I'm cursed and I am poison. And I no longer give a fuck. Because that way leads madness... So instead I'll let.others with their own self destructive personalities destroy themselves... I have my own path to ruin. At this way, I die alone. No casualties. 

Full speed ahead to self destruction. No regrets and no lookin back. I'm not gonna die on this cross for anyone but myself. But I'm gonna live 200 miles an hour for the rest of my life till I hit that wall... Till it kills me.

No regrets. Anyone that thinks I'm going to be there forever for them is sadly mistaken. My heart is cold. I don't chase people, I just stop.

That's what I'm doing right now.

Stopping.

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