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Year Zero.

This has been the strangest year of my life and given the fact that my life has never been fucking normal that says a lot. I am confused and have no idea where the fuck I am heading.. a year ago I knew exactly what I wanted In life and exactly what my fucking goals were. Now I feel like the fucking hamster on the goddamn wheel just spinning in circles not going anywhere. There's nothing to look forward to and there is definitely nothing to look back into the past for. I don't live there anyways. Sooner than later this pandemic will be over and maybe I can go back to what passes for a normal life... But I will wonder who will be left behind In the wreckage... Because when I have nothing... The people that care and the people that do not, burn brightly in the fire. It's easy to see who is on the level and who just gives lip service to the fact that they are part of my life.

If I can disappear and not affect you're life tomorrow, that tells me all that I fucking need to know about where I stand with you. That moment is coming. I'm not planning to announce it and I will be gone for a while. I need to start over and I need to find who I am again. I'm just spinning my heels with whatever I'm doing right now.

Time for a New Year Zero. Time for Rebirth. You might not like it.

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