It’s not supposed to be like this. Theses are you’re choices not mine, you choose to continuously hurt me and push me away. You’re not allowed to keep picking at the scab of the old wound that you self inflicted on the both of us....you will constantly betray me, that’s in you’re nature. Trust me I understand that part.
You’re actions and behaviour make it easier each time to walk away and to keep walking away, you have nothing to ground me to your life anymore. Any further involvement is a choice for the both of us.
The fact that there is a love and hate dynamic between us doesn’t mean that you don’t look in the mirror every morning and hate yourself for how everything turned out more than anything for how things turned out, that is one of the things I know. Even at our worst of hating each other, we always hated ourselves more.
The games you play and person you are sometimes being lately is not someone I have any interest being with, and even less being that person or an extension of that person and behaviour. I’ll just be me instead.
You’re so fucking oblivious to reasons that you anger me, no wonder it crumbled when we were young. You will never change, and I, I refuse to. You need me at my most intense and intimidating because at my core that’s the passionate man that fucking loves you, but he has a temper and a jealous streak a mile long, and when I’m betrayed I will remember it.
You were forgiven, not forgotten. Remember that.
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