It’s interesting how two people so alike that are one hundred percent twisted soulmates can both love and hate each other in one emotion. We share the same beliefs sometimes and outlook on the world. And I’ll always here to defend and protect you, but I hold you on a shattered pedestal.
...and all the reasons I once hated you for are all coming back to me. But I’m a better person than that. I seek peace at this point at my life. I am at peace with whatever you do in your life. I don’t think you are at peace, not just yet. But I think you need to mature more than me and grow up some. Just because you’re older than me doesn’t make you any wiser with you’re choices.
The best choice you ever made was picking up that phone and making amends, but that doesn’t wash away almost two decades of pain and struggle. All of which you caused. I stayed down there for two fucking wasted years of my life trying to get you to notice me... I worked myself into burnout only for you to betray the one thing in my life outside that defined me and I worked hardest for.... I wonder some days in the mirror how the fuck I ever forgave the one thing that defined me long before I was with you and long after... but it doesn’t matter, you had an axe to grind and an agenda. When I broach the subject you withdraw because you know something happened and you likely know who it was but I was a convenient victim with a tragic backstory.
But don’t forget this, I will never fucking forget that you brought my worst and lifetime enemy into play. I may have hated you as much as I loved you at one point but I’ve always hated the children’s aid even when I worked within there fucking walls, and the fact you involved my son with them to prove an agenda will never be forgotten no matter how much I forgive it.
It’s too bad I’m not feeling very forgiving right now. Using my ring as a emotional weapon to further you’re agenda with this loser that can’t even lace my broken boots is something I’m having a hard time deciding if I can fucking forgive. I thought you respected it at least. But I’m probably wrong.... I’m just an agenda as always as usual. I haven’t figured it out what it is but one day I will and you might not like the result.
I know I’m wounded and damaged, and so are you. I’m no idiot, I know exactly what a trauma bond is and I know it’s part of why we will play this game until the end of time.
Bruce Lee:
I will live the way I please and achieve inner harmony and happiness.
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