I think part of you’re problem with any return to what we once were even while emotion remains is that you will have to deal and acknowledge the damage to all of our lives that you have caused. I don’t think you are ready to face that. I don’t think you ever will be. I think the moment you actually come back is going to be when you have nothing left and you’re life is as broken and damaged as mine... the fact that day isn’t far away should say everything about you’re life and not mine... I was born damaged... you just allowed the void to destroy you’re life...
I am descended from warriors within living memory, his great grandfather was on the beaches in France, just because our war was more personal doesn’t mean it wasn’t as intense, and it damaged us both. You have had you’re own wars to fight and sadly you have failed in the most important one and the fractures of that are beginning to show. The fact that everything I said about him hating us both is coming to roost... at least I am spare most of that pain by virtue of being a ghost to him,
But you’re castle is crumbling, and you’re king is as far away as he could have ever been... and his heart is once again growing colder.
It’s me not dancing amongst the ruins and the embers... I had nothing to build so I had nothing to lose when I fell... I just ended up where I’ve always been... but you you are surrounded by the ruins of you’re life and the lives you helped to destroy. No fucking wonder you have regret. And one of them is Me.
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