The System has Failed III

nothing like watching the posion politics of laziness that has infected the other house in our organization start to affect this new house, I don't like being blamed for someone in the morning failing to do a bedcheck after 8 am that's not my fucking problem, you want me to make sure that the kids are asleep in the morning in their own rooms after shift change and i've left you should have me there until the kids wake the fuck up... and if you want me to be doing periodicall bed checks every 30 minutes you better be paying a lot fucking more than mininum wage which what i was making last febuary slamming subs together, and it's so much fun rescheduling my weekend with my son to accomadate a friday night shift that you take away from me at the last minute... the lack of any idea of scheulding till the last minute and the lack of contuinity of care is once agian bothering me, when I am more finaccaly secure on Ei than working there is something to be said about the way the system works and how fucking broken it is..... and it becoming painfully evident how much we are just warehousing the kids until the can grow up to be societies little drones and/or convicts.

Current Mood: Aggravated.
Current Music: Burn in Hell, Twisted Sister.
I know what I want, I say what I want ,And no one can take it away.

Comments

The Laugh Track.

I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you. I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when. Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...

The Trees.

I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about. I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love. Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love. The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do. And only one of us has it.

Return To The Abyss.

If anyone thinks they can take advantage of me and the people I care about, they are sadly mistaken. I walk away from people I love because of their bullshit. Someone who is merely there in my life? Yeah, I’m fucking out. I don’t need emotional vampires that suck me dry in my life. I will walk away from anything and everything at this point. I no longer give a damn about anything other than myself when it comes to your opinion. This decision and many others have been a long fucking time coming and to be honest I’m better off doing my own thing alone and solo. Because it’s better off for all involved. There’s still a temper and there is still the old me hidden underneath this attempt at seeking peace. I’m not a nice guy, I’ve never claimed to be a nice guy. And I’m not keeping my fucking mouth shut. No one fucking uses me, Period. And thats all I’ve felt I’ve been over the last few years. By a number of people in my professional life and my personal life. So maybe at this mom...

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