The System has Failed III

nothing like watching the posion politics of laziness that has infected the other house in our organization start to affect this new house, I don't like being blamed for someone in the morning failing to do a bedcheck after 8 am that's not my fucking problem, you want me to make sure that the kids are asleep in the morning in their own rooms after shift change and i've left you should have me there until the kids wake the fuck up... and if you want me to be doing periodicall bed checks every 30 minutes you better be paying a lot fucking more than mininum wage which what i was making last febuary slamming subs together, and it's so much fun rescheduling my weekend with my son to accomadate a friday night shift that you take away from me at the last minute... the lack of any idea of scheulding till the last minute and the lack of contuinity of care is once agian bothering me, when I am more finaccaly secure on Ei than working there is something to be said about the way the system works and how fucking broken it is..... and it becoming painfully evident how much we are just warehousing the kids until the can grow up to be societies little drones and/or convicts.

Current Mood: Aggravated.
Current Music: Burn in Hell, Twisted Sister.
I know what I want, I say what I want ,And no one can take it away.

Comments

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.

Franco Un-American.

I hate everyone. I just pretend I don’t because I’m chasing this false inner peace, thats being constantly eroded by outsiders. I am happy, I was at peace. But I do see my country and more importantly my city for what it’s for and I’m getting angry again. Maybe I do need to be angry. Maybe I do need to rebel. Maybe I do need to speak out despite the fact that it can be used against me and hurt those I love. Nothing fucking new to me. This apathy has gotten me nowhere, this trying to be at peace was working but maybe I need to be angry, maybe I need to rail agianst the things that once were right have now went wrong. This isn’t a world I want my child growing up in, and he’s grown. But this isn’t the world I promised him. This is something else. This city wants to pick a fight with me? Cool, I know what busybody bitch it is. Don’t think I will tolerate any threats to those that I care for or myself. You want to fucking start a war? Maybe it’s time for me to be angry again.

Someone Like You.

I know there are aspects of me, my personality and my life that you still like. It’s why you had my child and no one else’s. But I don’t colour within the lines enough for you to settle down with. That’s been acknowledged for two fucking decades. He’s an adult. I don’t need to answer to anyone anymore in my life. I wasted years fighting you when I should have been fixing you. But those moments are over. All of our moments are over. I don’t even need to be angry. I just need to be. You and I are toxic. I’m better off without you in my life. It’s a little less toxic when I’m the only one on the boat. Only the captain goes down with the ship. I’ve always known i would die alone anyhow. No family, no friend’s, no real accomplishments to my life. I wrote that line almost 30 years ago. Self fulfilling prophecy. At least that way when I implode no one gets hurts. I was a fool to think otherwise. I’ve left too much damage in my path. I just want to be happy and at peace whatev...

Nikk's Blog of doom!!!

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