I've spent it in good company
And all the harm that e'er I've done
Alas it was to none but me
I'm sick of the only real thing of value in my life is chasing bullshit people that are unreliable... same sold story i guess.. It's just frustrating to feel that i have hit a brick wall in my life and I am just sitting here waiting for the next step of my life to begin, pretty fucking sad that's all i have left other than the anger... at least i have indication of how my story is ending, very soon i will start building from the wreckage of the things that are left.. there will be a shelf of memories that he didn't get to experience, and some memories will remain exactly where they are in my mind, but some things that i once had interest are only limping along on vapor trails and fumes... and that's exactly where they should be. Decisions are going to be made, one's that not everyone are going to like...but you know i don't give a damn, it's my life and my battle, my war.. I have to have this thing stand for something and i have to be ready for what the next step is.. even with all the questions, Right now I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels in a lot of ways and the longer i look into that darkness i become it. I have to break free from it. I can't lead this questionable exsistance for the last of my days, it's time to move on, it's time to be something more... Not just defined by my circumstances. I can't deal with these people anymore, esp. the ones that don't know hoe to fucking accountable to themselves.... i have my own fucking drama to deal with, I'd rather be nothing than to be defined by this shit.
Current Mood: Depressed
Current Music: The Parting Glass, The Walking Dead Soundtrack
There are edges around the black and every now and then a flash of color streaks out of the gray. But I can never really grasp any of the slivers of memories that emerge.
You cannot move forward if you are always thinking backwards
I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. And that's really sad. It was almost like a reverse nightmare, like when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. I woke up into a nightmare.
The world isn’t perfect, and some days it wears you down. You can either accept that, and face it, and be a help to others instead of a hindrance. Or you can decide the rules are too tough and they shouldn’t apply to you, and you can ignore them and make things harder for everybody else. Sometimes life is about being sad and doing things anyway. Sometimes it’s about being hurt and doing things anyway. The point isn’t perfection. The point is doing it anyway.
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