I'm fucking done having arguments with people that assume wrongly they are better than me. I'm at war for the safety, secruity and sanity of my child agianst a vindictive bitch and a corrupt system. How dare you fucking tools sit there are argue with me about the law and about what can and cannot be, it's even worse when some of that is coming from a so called ally. Well, as far as the fucking ally goes, I learned not to trust that a long time ago. The others? I'm at war with the system, as long as that is a part of my life I always will be, it's fuckin sad that as long as the system is in my life I will be at war with them, a war I have been fighting since I was 8 years old, fuck, for Christ sakes all of my children are older than that now. And this comes down to the vindictive actions of one vindictive selfish person who knew my family history. We aren't done, not by a long shot, but I promise you, before we are, I will see you and the fucking system burn beneath my feet. I will finish this fight no matter what it takes, as long as I draw breath, as long as I can stand and fucking fight, because the reality is, I am stronger, this has only made already forged iron into even stronger steel. I know who I am, I know who and what I'm capable of. This might not be the change that I thought I would be making in the system but I will make change. There is a reason I belong in the wrong century. I am from a warrior class long since extinguished, but I know how to fight, I know how to never give up, I know how to face death and destruction in the face and say come and get me, because I fight. Because that's what will stop me, that's the only thing that will ever stop this this black hole in my chest from bleeding and fighting and dying for those I love, a bullet to the chest. Those that have reason to fear me, so you should. I'm an intimidating motherfucker and so therefor I intimidate, and when I am in a battle or a war or even the latest fight, I give no quarter. I will give you and the system exactly what you gave me, no compromise, no surrendering and no backing down. My children should not be afraid of the system, not the way I was and the mother of my firstborn has no fucking right to have destroyed my life the way she has that even now five fucking years removed when I am rebuilding what little is left of my life, that she can Indirectly affect my life like this? I can and always will blame you Cunt. You started this, I will end this, for all our sakes, it's no longer just about the one little boy, he's important but you've turned the fire into a burning pit. Hell hath no fury.... But my fury, it's worse. Our son will always be paramount, but I will watch you fucking burn. You better think fucking twice before you attempt to make a phone call to me to try and discuss any type of peace or truce with me, last time I allowed you a moment to speak, to express yourself before I fired back on both barrels. I gave you the only terms I would ever agree to, now? The game has fucking changed. I will destroy you, I will feel no sorrow in doing so either. No remorse. I want you to feel as broken as I do, I want you as exposed as I am. You want to destroy my life, I'll return the favor. I have no qualms about doing so, and I feel nothing doing so. But it's not just you I am fighting, you're just the root cause. The system is just as flawed and broken as the rest of us, but for every moment that you should fear me, and trust, you should fucking fear me. The system, the government should fear me one hundredfold. They have made it clear that as long as I draw breath that they will be a part of my life? Then they better suicide me by cop, because as long as I draw breathe I will fight the system, either from within or from without. That's all I know how to do, that's the only skill I have. I know that it's too late for anything else. I either go back to work and make a difference or I use that knowledge to stand and fight from another direction. But those are my options, that's who I am, I will stand and fight and I won't compromise my principles but, I'm not gonna let anyone else define me either, not the system, not that useless cunt in st. Catherine's. Nobody. I am the only person that controls my fate and destiny, period. I took intimidation 101 just like these fucking goofs in the government did. I'm completely aware of them and the Gestapo tactics and I have counter measures. I know how to play psychological chess and counter there bullshit games in the exact same way I know how to counter your bullshit. For you're and their every chess move I'm six moves ahead. I know how this fucking thing will end, I just don't know when. There is a lot more at play here than there needs to be and honestly, some decisions that need to be made are going to be fucking made. We don't have any choice now but the fact that this latest battle could have been avoided is immaterial. It would have happened anyways one day down the fucking line. It's too bad it happened now. But it was going to happen, over and over and over till I am dead, at their hands. The blood will be on your hands as much as theirs tho Jennifer. If that is truly what is my epitaph is a heart attack or suicide by cop defending my children. That's on you, that will always be on you and your decision. I'll fight till someone takes me out or something does. You and the system are simply not going to stop me, I will not back down, nothing is over while I'm breathing. You will have to kill me, one way or another to end this. I have endured my worst nightmares over and over again because of you and your decisions. It's time for me to repay that in kind, just not your kind. I will fucking destroy you and if it takes me to the end of my life I will destroy the system, tearing it down brick by fucking brick. I've faced the skeletons in my closet, they've been rattling, and the fucking demons? Those demons you awaken within me give me strength to fight, when ones spirit animal comes from the bowels of hell as anger demon, it's not a good idea to fuck with a knight of Cerberus, I know and am fully fucking aware of exactly who and what my fucking demons are... I've felt their fire, I've felt yours, now you are gonna feel mine.... Let's see how long you survive. I wear my scars like Armour, and my shattered and scarred psyche is my sword, my rifle and above all my greatest weapon, because I know even how damaged I fucking get, it will repair, a little shell shocked and worse for wear but as long as I can stand and fight, I will there is no question of that. Ever. There is simply too much at stake to ever even consider giving up or backing down. Retreat is never an option.
Current Mood: Angry, Betrayed, Unforgiving.
Spirit. In every language in all the Realms, surface and Underdark, in every time and every place, the word has a ring of strength and determination. It is the hero's strength, the Father's resilience, and the poor man's armor. It cannot be broken, and it cannot be taken away.
Comments