Skip to main content

Riot Act.


My whole life I have had only two responses, fight or flee. And I usually don't know how to do anything but fight....

But this time... I think there's something worth fighting for.... I just hope it doesn't cost me everything... Because I have nothing left.

All I know is that there is a lot less darkness right now inside myself... I'd like to hold onto that if I can. I'd like to hold onto them for as long as it lasts.

I am going to fight for this and I am going to fight for them. It's not going to cost me anything to be the bad guy and the villain this time and it will take all the negative energy off of them. I'm good, I can handle it. I'll take it all on me for as long as I have to.

I wish I was there to have handled it more over the years.i think you and him needed that. Every step along the way.

I'm sick of being strong and fighting for the wrong reasons. But when I know it's the right reason I'm never going to stop fighting.

I don't back down from anyone. I'll lose the battle if I have to but I'll do it on my feet. I will always fight. I'm too stubborn to back down.

And when it's truly worth fighting for... Like my son... Like how you perceive my truest purest love, the fact I am percieving the educational system is treating him the same way he did me isn't making me happy. Those darkest moments that I had going away are now rocket fucking fuel for me. You don't fuck with my blood and my family and they are certainly are that.

Look the fuck out.

Babe, being angry at you was never like this.. this is a whole different level.

Current Mood: Ballistic.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more