Skip to main content

I'm Broken...


We got lost along the way... But I looked into the abyss and it fucking looked into me right back. That abyss was you... And I am never fucking coming back. That ship died a fucking Viking funeral a very long time ago.

I don't know how much time I have left but I will be damned if you're manipulation pushes me to the brink where I just want to end it all. I'm not that fucking coward and he deserves better. But you deserve nothing from Me. Not anymore.

I used to think I had something to prove, that if I made you proud of me I'd be worthy of you're love. I was deadly fucking wrong. The truth is you never deserved me.... I'm better than you and you destroyed me for it.

I'm a fucking fool for still being in love with you but at least the knife was expected this time... And this time you cut so fucking deep that you took it all away agian.

Enjoy my heart it's the last thing of mine that belongs to you.... But it's dead now.

This nostalgia trip was fun. I hope you got what you needed from it. Satisfaction, revenge whatever, you're porogative, I got what I always get... I get to feel empty. I get to be broken. I'm done feeling guilty for failing you as a husband or a lover. That's completely on you. You did this to us.

Not me. I'm just playing for it.

Till the day I die. you will haunt me, you made that perfectly clear.

Guess like everything else you've given me I'll just have to fucking learn to live with it.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Trees.

  I am really bothered by someone hurting my tree. I’m not sure the next step but that’s a living thing. I know that there is no healing when our things are still affected negatively by people. I’m not sure what the next step is but I know this is part and parcel of the entire thing and that we can’t heal when people hurt the things we care about.  I don’t have much but I do have a legacy to protect and there is a place where my son needs to feel safe, and I don’t think it will ever be that house agian. But once it was home, there are good memories there. There was love.  Part of that is the peace that was our tree. I’m sick of people damaging the things I love.  The world needs to be better and less selfish. I need peace in mine and her lives. Even if we are separate in our lives. She needs the peace and quiet I have in my life. Even more than I do.  And only one of us has it. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Father and Son.

I dont know the next step. I don't claim to. I just know I'm working to rebuild a relationship that has been fractured for many years. That includes both of you. I am here. I will always be here, I have always been here that will never change  This weekend was epic and it felt right. I don't know what will happen but i do know that I am at peace with being civil and polite with your mom. It was nice to have a little adventure as a family. It felt right. It what was missing in our lives. Thank you. 
Post a Comment
Read more