Skip to main content

Paid In Full



Whatever the hell we are, it's honest, I'll Give you that. There's no true drama anymore.


Except when you decide to create it. I can't tell when you're being honest with me or when you're being fake. You draw on all my fucking  emotions and expect me to be there to fucking  save you. I'm not that guy not anymore. You want to push me away forever. You're doing a great fucking job of.


Any debts to you are done. We are paid in full. I'm not here to be yours anymore. Maybe one day we will fucking figure it out or maybe one day this downward spiral we both claim will fucking end. Till then I'm just fine chasing my own destiny and taking care of my responsibilities. You're choices are you're own. They are not mine but this constant betrayal is nothing new. It's a very old and constant friend. I'm used to it, I'm used to it from you.


No illusions and no surprises there.


I worked my ass off today with the intention of doing an epic weekend holiday vacation in our hometown and erase some of the bad memories in each other's arms, but that was too much for you, that was too fucking intense for you. Thanks for the bucks then. I have other plans with my other ride or die friends.


Just because I know you'll be there at the end doesn't fucking mean I have to enjoy the ride. All scores are settled. I don't owe you a damn thing, not anymore. It's all paid in full. 


Fuck off until your ready, if ever. I'll see you then.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Laugh Track.

  I want you in my life. Don't ever fucking confuse that for needing you in my life. Those two things are mutually exclusive to each other. I'm fine with my life and it's not my freind's and my social life that I'm jealous of. We both made our choices. My life has always been an insane carnival. You were merely an extended chapter. But if you think I'm going to sit at home being sad and depressed and shutting down because your not in my life. Your delusional. Then agian we already know this. If my life is going to be a sad comedy then I'll make it a metal massacre. I'm not sitting around waiting for anyone. The least of all you.  I sacrificed enough time on the altar of what might have been. I'm just enjoying the time that we have left. This way if it go out, it's on my own terms. I always told you that my funeral pyre will be a blaze of glory.. I just never told you when.  Now I'm gonna live and have adventures. Remain jealous. You know how ...
Post a Comment
Read more

51.

Happy birthday.  Hope you are happy and enjoying yourself. I like that we are civil and communicating but i also think you need to take some introspective time and decide the next step. I want you to be happy whether or not I am a part of your life. And i am trying very hard to be. Today, this weekend. I just want to talk to you, hear you laugh..maybe even see you smile. Thats all i want. For you to enjoy your day and hear happy Birthday from me and my son. Thats all you need..to know you are loved. Happy Birthday Baby. You are always loved. No matter what. Unconditional.
Post a Comment
Read more

Bad Man.

I am not a good man, I tell people straight out that I’m not a good person. I know I’m toxic. But I embrace being the villain and being the bad guy. Being feared is better than being loved because at least that way you respect me. When it comes to someone I care about and have a responsibility to, I will always choose them over others fucking bullshit and drama. This isn’t a choice. This is my life. Period. I live it every damn day. I’m not Making any other choices. I will always choose those that I care about over people that are merely in orbit in my life and if you give me a reason to fucking doubt you? I will give u a reason to fucking fear me.  I’m just fed up, my world doesn’t need complications. My peace and my piece of mind doesn’t need complications. I have enough of those I struggle against in my personal life. This is the end game, and the end times. I deserve to be fucking happy. No one is getting in the fucking way of that. Period. 
Post a Comment
Read more