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The Number of the Beast: 666




I am a relic from a world that has moved on without me. As each day draws closer to fifty I feel it. I have nothing. An endless legacy of stories and things I've done. But nothing of true value or substance. Save one. My son. At the end if the day, if that's all I was.. if thats all I am. It was worth it. 

I dont see as many days ahead as I saw behind and that indicates a lot for me. Im not sure who I want to draw into my orbit anymore. I just want those that are there to stay in it. Ive lost enough people in my life. 

I'm already at peace with where I end up. At least there will be answers. 

I don't care if I'm liked. I enjoy being hated, intimidating and feared. At least them when i deal with people's interactions they are honest. Id rather be a dark demon than an angel any day.

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