Skip to main content

The Conjuring


Why is it the one person I hate and loath as much in this world that i can about someone I once loved seems to be the only person reaching out to me and being accommodating at the moment? Even tho it may be false pretenses she seems to currently be the only one that understands what I'm going threw with a lack of any income and living merely day to day the way her and I used to back in the good bad old days, i can't live like that anymore I'm no longer that young... but the fact that she understands my need to see my son on fathers day and is accommodating enough to even bring him into town speaks volumes and erases just a little of this darkness cloud that hovers over my head... Of course there's always the little quote from my little man that bother's me some, about her loving me a little bit.. i can't tell what that's all about but when she shows her rare random acts of kindness esp. when all i see in my life is anger and darkness directed at other people it makes me wonder... not enough to go back to her, but just enough to be confused about my path in life and if i should take a step back into Niagara and just give up on hopes and dreams career wise, I don't know, i guess i never will.

Current Mood: Conflicted
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cowabunga.

Back to the job search i go... not really anything to do right now but play turtles smash up and watch tv so i decided to wander downtown and look for a job. I am feeling really good at the moment and trying to ride this positive feeling as long as it lasts and not let anything get me down. Current Mood: Positive. Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another.
Post a Comment
Read more

Fall Of Cybertron III: Where’s Poochie.

It is very easy for me to fade away and just get bored of other people and politics when games are played. I’m not even fucking blinking when someone else who I’ve done things for, constantly for months with no rewards suddenly forgets I exist. That’s real easy for me to fucking deal with. Con politics, games, asshole people that don’t pay there Fuckin promises from day one? Don’t call my number.  I stepped away from this shit once on my own. I have no fucking problem doing it again. I feel used and betrayed, but for me it was a Tuesday. I suspect jealousy and politics but I also know when to stick a fork in something when it’s done. I’ve got no interest being around anyone that doesn’t want me involved in there little cliques. I mean this thing was fun but from day one it was political. I don’t need stress and drama in my life. I can hang up my Wizard robe and move the fuck on. I did a great job of it on my own anyways. I don’t look amateur hour like the rest of them. And I no longer
Post a Comment
Read more

Fuel Injected Suicide Machine.

Pissing me off is never a good fucking option. I have a life and I don’t need to make fucking sacrifices for anyone if I choose not to.  I’m getting real fed up with simply being expected to do and arrange things so someone else can have a fucking escape. This is starting to become a fucking pattern in my life. Some I choose to do for, but others, when I’m starting to notice a fucking pattern? I’m gone. I will always be gone.  The fact I have yet to step foot in England when I have a secondary place to stay should speak volumes in terms of this freindship and how it’s no longer even.  I’m sick of things only being halfway when I’m trying with certain fucking people and I can bail and close ranks and not give a flying fuck about anyone anymore when I’m not being treated with respect esp. given to mine and my brothers financial situation. I don’t mind making sacrifices but I’m still going to make sure that my main fucking priorities are taken care of.  I’m not going to pretend to keep th
Post a Comment
Read more